Pharmacy

Finally caved in to having some kind of x disorder after 5 straight days of having the brain being tossed around in hot grease.Went to a pharmacy,where a 20-ish,pale-faced Chinese guy stood behind the counter,in a white coat with arms folded smugly.

A: I need some aspirin,one strip will do. (would've taken them myself,but they were behind the counter)
C: What for?
A: I think I have x problem. (Long explanation ensues)
C: Ah,I have just what you need. (Rushes into room far behind-reappears after 3 minutes,hands me a bottle)
A: (eyes the bottle suspiciously,reading carefully the many warnings and dramatic statements printed on the outside label) Is this dangerous?
C: No,aspirin is actually more dangerous.It's not the right medicine for x.
A: But this one looks....and it says here that...
C: Don't worry about those-they write all sorts of things and make you think it's poisonous.
A: And it's not.
C: Doubt it.
A: Don't I need a prescription for this?
C: Don't think so.
A: Don't people commit suicide with this?
C: You look like a happy young chap,I wouldn't worry.
A: So...I take...one...at night?
C: You can take up to 6 a day,2 with every meal.
A: But this looks like a very small bottle.I think I'll go for one a day for now.
C: Or you could try vitamin J,and hope to heal soon.
A: Soon doesn't sound very promising.
C: Then this would work for you.
A: Perfect.

...

Heh.