All about salma

1. Have been in Melbourne,turning out to be quite the tame summer.Besides the 37c sizzling plate that was yesterday,its been easy breezy peas come freezy.Have you noticed how chicken fried in light olive oil tastes so amazing?
2. Salma Hayek was on Letterman,I had no idea she was so entertaining live.
3. The 2 Kristen Wiig skits from last week's SNL blew my mind open with its sheer Greatness.
4. Its tennis season down under (going for an Aus Open match next Thurs),temporarily gone are my days of watching SBS late night not fully comprehending the film because the characters talk too fast and speed-reading subtitles ain't my major.
5. Bon Iver this Sunday,I sent an email asking if SLRs were allowed in and they replied with this really formal and threatening note full of ominous spaces ( ),something something you're camera will be confiscated and you will be escorted out the venue.Would it help if I dressed as a little girl and came in a wheelchair?
6. Something about the skies this week,have me totally mesmerized.Was on the bike in the gym and the motionless,beautiful skies caught my eyes and 20 minutes passed unnoticed.Also,according to (the dysfunctional) weight machine there,I've lost exactly -1.5 kilos despite living like a fucking cow for 3 days.Miss I lost 13 kilos is coming back in a day,I have this huge plan to get her buffed up and normal again,it involves blending a whole turkey into pulp and offering it to her as "beef fruit juice,its so trendy only astronauts drink it".
7. Speaking of gold shoes,last week's 30 rock?Like most of the eps this season,the jokes were very well-written and make for good one-liners,but the story's way off-kilter and the show's beginning to collect many,many pointless characters.
8. Rootbeer person,I miss you.
9. Bought a notebook for boring lectures,today I ended up with 3 dirty poems and an ugly sketch of the afro girl who sat in front of me,her big bush looming large like a giant bully.She smelled nice though,ok maybe not nice but definitely expensive.
10. Channel 10's ad for the upcoming season of the Biggest Loser are the worst.If I have to watch fat people trying to be cutesy to the music of Christina Aguilera's 'Fighter' again,I'll boom! was that a flying cat?
11. Lost on air again next week with a 2 hour season premiere.If I can find ONE more person who watches Lost here,I'll go all out and get non-alcoholic Dharma beer and dress up as Hurley and say "Dude!" 13 times and perform a one-person stage summary of the Kate-Jack-Sawyer love triangle,then be all paranoid Australian and give birth in the woods.
12. "You don't like me cos guys are yeah,like,yeah,yeah".

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