the ten

1. Been doing a lot of rigorous post-midnight house-cleaning right after I get back from the library-I've still got too much energy to drain before I go to sleep,so I don the Snow White apron and sing show tunes while I clean with an uncontainable sense of optimism which seems more appropriate for someone who's just given birth to a...why,its a beautiful...BABY......BOY! It's half-sealion and has a magic 8 ball for one eye,but other than that,he's fine!

2. And every time I sprinkle that vacuuming powder that stinks like a cheap bouquet of roses someone stole from a grave,I feel like Allison in Hocus Pocus when the house is struck by a pack of newly resurrected witches,she remembers a bogus remedy and reaches for a can of salt and starts pouring it all over thinking it'll magically with-proof the place.But of course it fails,and there's Bette Midler on her flying broom,mocking this stupid girl with her can of salt.

3. Was reading a forum on Wonderful Movies that Brought you Back to Your Childhood,I don't have any-there wasn't much movie-watching,as far as I can remember.But once a long time ago,I saw The Sound of Music and there's this scene-I won't specify which-but it had me bawling,and bawling,as if there was a bottomless well of tears right inside me that suddenly geisered. And they had the movie on two weekends ago,when the same scene came on and I had the same (over)reaction.

5. The XX on 90210! Take my word for it,they'll be the next MGMT/Phoenix and in a few months you'll hear their music on every TV show,commercial and everywhere basically.Speaking of which,on my way back a homeless man who passed me sung something I caught-I told you to be patient,I told you to be kind-and I immediately knew it was a song I'd heard before,turned out to be Bon Iver.Whether this is some kind of prophecy,or just that homeless people have some secret access to really terrific indie music (uh,radio?),I know not.

6. John Mayer performed in Sydney this recent weekend,but touring Melbourne next May.Sometimes it feels like Melbourne's set at the far edge of time,and a huge lag separates this place from the rest of Earth.Like there's this movie,House of the Devil,came out in the US days ago and I'm dying to see..but it doesn't even have a release date for Australia.And of course Where the Wild things Are is still a month away,by then there'll probably be two sequels and a theme park for it.

7. Speaking of John Mayer,he was on Alexa Chung a while ago, Someone needs to take this interviewand turn it into a feature film.Mayer was also on Rove on Sunday,of course it was a horrible interview where Rove asked the most tepid questions and had his VIP guests sit on that long couch saying nothing for the rest of the show while his local crew tell the worst ABSOLUTE WORST jokes-I swear to God that show would've been butchered anywhere else,I don't know what they feed the live audience to keep laughing or who's whoring out who to keep that crap show on air.

9. N pointed out a couple bones on my body,and said it wasn't normal for people to have bones in those areas-this inspired some rabid googling and apparently people have gone to surgeries and literally have these bones removed from their bodies and I'm not paranoid just yet,they're in quite unobvious places,I'm just worried that they may hide some quietly-growing disease,or one day a bone will portrude and pierce through my skin as a cute bonsai and grow into a tree that reaches the sky and they'll classify me as a nature reserve and everyone will gawk and be amazed by this massive tree and forget that I'm all the way down there.

* Nat Portman on V,I'll be practicing my You're such a Low Life being in the Same room with you makes me Want to Puke my Unborn Baby Out face all weekend.



Rahimy said...

Point number 9 reminds me of the Half Man, Half Tree Indonesian freak.

Al said...

true-i saw the documentary on him,he had to do all this freaky circusish stuff to earn money to support his family.sad.