NINE

Here is a film that is just so beautifully shot.Almost half the time,I'm in awe of how the lighting,angles,and all the other details make one helluva of a stunning BIG PICTURE,that I nearly overlook everything else.

The BAD: The music was atrocious,doubtless its biggest downfall.The lyrics read like a manual for something extremely difficult to use,its words as if lost in translation: there is no rhythm,no melody,these are not songs I imagine anyone to be singing to in their cars,or bopping their heads to in the theater.

The story itself is diseased with a kind of oblivious self-indulgence.At its heart,is a tale of a man STUCK.He is a brooding,elusive and irresponsible both as a filmmaker and lover,but he is also an artist who thinks he has lost his craft and ambition.Does one justify the other? The resulting disequilibrium is a character who is unsympathetic.The dilemma is that NINE wishes to convey a story of a man spiritually distressed-it is as simple as that-but this conflicts with the grand ambition of its songs,lavish sets,all-star cast.There is no way you can get away with a plot this minimalist,when you've assumed the weight of such boisterous ingredients.

Some other obvious,though less essential discrepancies: Kate Hudson is altogether useless and unfulfilling even at the most basic Eye Candy function,Daniel Day-Lewis (who I regard as one of the best actors EVER,right up there with Tom Hanks) is uncharacteristically stiff and reluctant,I think someone younger and more playful or clumsy would've been a better fit.

The GOOD: As I mentioned,in terms of aesthetics this film ranks as one last year's best.Penelope Cruz has the second tune,where she prances around in lingerie and plays the seductress: this scene is so deeply sensuous and sultry,the tones of purple and pink are bright and titillating.Similar to the opening number where Daniel Day-Lewis climbs around a bare set full of tin poles,sweeping lights and ominous shadowplay.The film is full of sequences like this: where the timing and design is so perfectly orchestrated,betrayed only by an unengaging script.

The best part about NINE is no doubt Penelope Cruz.She is given a pathetically thin and childish character,but with the best lines to say.And she executes each tiny moment of humor,sadness and sex with such paramount conviction-while the character seems paltry on paper,the outcome on-screen bursts with life and color.

Penelope Cruz definitely deserves her Oscar nomination (in the Best Supporting Actress category),but she won't win.History has told us that no matter how superb one's work is on a film: if the film itself as a whole is unpalatable and horrible,one cannot win.Think Meryl Streep in Mamma Mia! Plus fucking Mo'nique will probably win this one,although I still think Precious is an all-around forced and terribly-written piece of shit.

NINE is also nominated in 3 other categories,but they are all technical and boring.Let Avatar have all of them.Oscars this Sunday March 7th,list of nominees here and my life hero Steve Martin will be co-hosting with Alec Baldwin.

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