ramble

1. So I remember when I was younger,much younger,a boy the size of a coke can,and they used to poke a straw in me and forgot I was human too,OK no but seriously,when I was a normal-sized primary-school goer I used to bargain with the Mother,I'd want to buy so many things,and get bored of them so fast,this was before the dawn of abnormality see,when I was still a normal person who wanted normal things,so I chased the trend wherever it went,I got each Tamagotchi and Pokemon and all those amazingly stupid things,and the Mother,would sometimes just give in because I was quite the Golden-Globe winning actress in a Drama Series,but sometimes she'd set up a reward system and I'd have to win the Black Belt in Taekwondo or something,but the one thing,and I mean the only thing she never said no to,was books.

And I mean real books,with words,that made sense,and for a long time I was hooked on Goosebumps,she'd drive me to the MPH on Telawi and I'd grab just one copy,finish it hours later,and we'd drive there again,and I'd drag another copy.And looking back,I look at my former child self and go "Cool",knowing that there was something I genuinely liked and passionately enjoyed as an individual,I think that's important,to foster this into someone,whatever it is,and am forever grateful to the Mother for this,I'm going to write an amazing speech and one day graduate as an Amazing Person somewhere and tell everyone in the world that Goosebumps was and still is awesome.And today I'm able to read this and that,although now I'm in one of my phases,there are a dozen books upturned on my bedroom floor,and I know I'll never finish any of these,but this one book The Lonely Polygamist has about the riotous and hilarious fiction book child ever,and I want to adopt a kid and tell him to read this book to be exactly like Rusty.

2. I guess you could call me a Golden Girls fan,I mean I could say I'm not just a fan,but that I've seen all the episodes and think it is one of the best-written shows in history.This was after I found this thing called sarcasm,and then went on to earn a Master's Degree in it,and I found that Bea Arthur & Estelle Getty were just about the most terrific and sarcastic characters,they were my favorite two,followed by Rue McClanahan who has unfortunately died this morning,and finally the survivor and much-loved Betty White,who of course was absolutely hysterical,but the challenge of playing an idiot whose "St. Olive" stories noone wanted to hear but were oft repeated,was no degree near to the toughie of being the manically lovable, cynical and uproariously sarcastic miracles that were Dorothy & Sophia.

To me,the Golden Girls is a show that is infinitely watchable and timelessly comical,and to see that this was created and all written in the 80s,before the comedy genre itself truly solidified as a distinct and respectable part of the business,is truly one fucking hell of an achievement.And Bea Arhur,is to me,one of the best comedians to have ever graced this pithole of a planet.And what is a 21-year old boy like me doing watching Golden Girls? I guess I should be watching Glee instead,and totally ignore how everyone is obviously lip-syncing and doing a horrible job with their shitty, KARAOKE REMIX of real classics,and that Rachel is so annoying and unlikeable,and these bunch of oddballs so unnaturally mixed together-Hey,lets throw in a Gay Guy and make him ridiculously outrageous and flamboyant,two jocks and make one a complete dumbass,the other a rebel and delinquent,and throw in some Asian kids who don't get many lines,one of whom has pink streaks in her hair you know which I think all Asians or Tokyo people do,and I think a black kid who is super ghetto and a blonde and cheerleaders you know,who never come out of their outfits,like,ever,so its like this fantasy world where everyone is an exaggeration of some silly stereotype,and OK make everyone who isn't an oddball either evil,or brainless OK?

Glee has got to die.As Blanche would say, "Eat dirt and die,trash".Look at me,talking to myself,like when Dory in Finding Nemo went ECHO ECHO ECHO.That was a great movie,Ellen's a great person,see how great everyone is.I'm going to wash my car then trap the Cat in a glass box and shower her clean,its a Friday.Shower time puss,here here,puss...

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