29.6.06

Stranger In The Mirror



How long can any man fight the darkness,before he finds it in himself?

Having lunch with mum at Aseana KLCC,i tried every tactic i could muster to avoid the subject of college,my future and and somehow steered myself into her eventful past.My mother,a masterful storyteller and natural socialite has always managed to keep people entertained with the stories of her own life.These stories,equivillent to the ones we have/will come to collect as our lives continue,provide insight to the personas we really hold behind misleading exteriors.

1.When she first came to KL,she took a job doing surveys in Bukit Bintang.Along with some others,she was given the task to print copies of two-page surveys then go from house to house for people to fill them in-instead of doing so,they all found a semi-secluded park where they filled the surveys themselves under a big oak tree.

2.When she first joined Nestle,being the only female executive the big boys bullied her into writing minutes for every meeting-one day,out of frustration and annoyance,she decided to bring one of those funny-looking long pencils with a revolting pink teddy bear stuck at the end and halfway through the meeting the company CEO stood up angrily,took the pencil,broke it in half and provided his own Mont Blanc.

3.In TKC,as in every other school-there was the stuck-up royal-bred bitch who brought imported chocolates and only spoke bahsa omputeh (sometimes Mum would trail off in Kelantanese dialect),she'd only stick to her wealthy friends and regarded others as dirt.Mum,along with three of her madly-hilarious friends (whom she still meets regularly) sew her mosquito net to the mattress while she was sleeping-as a result they were called to be punished,laughing hysterically all the way to the principle's office.

So now if any jerk asks me how i got to be so arrogant,highly-opinionated,audacious and vain i'll just proudly say its the genes my mother gave me,and that sorry asshole would just have to live being a worthless wallflower,another unoticable part of the world's vast background as an empty,ornamental individual with only meaningless criticism to offer.

Only managed to meet Ali,Chong and Yameen so far,going to Bali tomorrow and as much as i hate the burning heat of KL,i'd choose this over Melbourne's coldness of weather and heart anytime.Since coming back,some very awful things have happened,some of them i'm not able to talk about here-

1.I trusted a close relative with my dangerous insecurities which should've been kept secret,all she did was tell my dad and as a consequence family drama has taken control over the household.Never trust someone completely if you're unsure-be wary of who you choose to confide in,cos' being connected by blood may deceive you into giving total trust.

Back to Spidey,how long can a saviour survive until he becomes evil-which makes me wonder,what makes one to realise what he can do with all he's been given?Freedom,trust,love-the basis of all good things,but they can be manipulated for wrong intentions,so i've come to realise the weapons we use to combat evil are merely double-edged swords that can hurt us too.

So,are the real enemies we fear the most-the ones locked inside ourselves?

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