Lighted Tunnels

Cos' Fiona Apple's just fucking legendary.

Feels so dizzy.Oh yeah.Finally got about to watching the final episode of Six Feet Under,the one where Claire finally leaves for New York,leaving behind Ruth,her brother David and the rest of them.I was once the hugest Six Feet Under fan-i bought both dvd sets of the first 3 seasons,but the beginning of season 3 marked the fast downfall of the show-the first two seasons were so honest and heartful,after that it seemed the writers were replaced and everything went haywire.So after halfway watching through season 3 i decided the show wasn't worth watching anymore,left the dvds to gather dust in some obscure corner of my room-and i only heard about the show again last month when i read somewhere that Nip/Tuck had recently done an episode where all the characters were 20 years older,and it was mentioned that no show should do such episode unless it could compare to Six Feet Under's final episode-so i downloaded the 3 final episodes of the final season (season 5),and watched them all today.The first two episodes were hard to watch,not only were they incredibly boring and filled with enormous cliche's but the only character i was truly concerned with was Claire-but then it was the final hourlong episode.

Claire leaves for New York,the last 8 minutes we are brought to the future where everyone grows old and starts dying-beginning with Ruth,then Keith,then David,then Rico,Brenda and finally Claire.In between it is shown several significant future events-Keith & David get married,then so does Claire & Ted.All of this future images play out while we see Claire driving towards New York,going from highways to long desert roads,and finally just into the light.The point is that our lives are really much shorter than we think and time will pass by like lighting,and all of us will lose our loved ones someday and finally meet our own death-and really when we arrive at old age with all our family and friends gone we wonder the extent to which our lives were fully lived and can do nothing but wonder,regret and reminisce-all of this is played out while Claire is still young and driving,she does not know it yet but her future will play out like a fast record and life will simply pass by her eyes quickly,but she does not know it yet-the same way we don't know how our lives will turn out,and can only feel nothing but excitement for all the things we aspire to become and the dreams we wish to fulfill.But all of this,will unravel itself to show that it all means absolutely nothing-that once your loved ones are gone nothing else matters and that's when death becomes a waiting line for your turn,just breathing in and out until we finally drop dead.

So it made me think a lot about things-how i want the next few years to play out,and ultimately i wondered wether life will change or simply remain the way i percieve it is-life's such a massive,wonderful thing but if i let it slip out of my hands and into another's control its just reduced to being nothing else but a painful,miserable experience full of suffering.So how the next few years and decades will turn out is only God's knowledge,my only concern would be using every moment in time i have to make sure my death,when it finally comes,would be the end to a well-lived life.