Times Like These

Chloe Sevigny.

All those young girls constantly appearing in tabloids and so on-they might have suffered from overexposure or something and sexy might be the last thing I'd call them.Chloe Sevigny can easily give Jessica Alba or whichever young starlet claiming the throne a run for their money.

My mind is not here.It's not there either.It's scattered in a mess,all across the globe and even in places that don't necessarily exist.

My thoughts incoherent,appearing and disappearing-drowning and floating in a dark pool of blurriness and passive nothingness.

I'm going to take a few hours chilling and just listening to Tori Amos & The Strokes.

World,give me the peace of mind to survive whatever needs surviving.

Under Pressure

Time for a quickie!

The semester's come to end end (aside from the upcoming exams,of course) and although I'm sure everyone must be feeling stressful and tensed from exam preparation,surely we all feel a slight relief knowing the next two months will be free of lectures,assignments,coursework etc.

Music

Some songs I've been listening to a lot recently:

Foals-Hummer
Hot Hot Heat-Middle of Nowhere
The Klaxons-Gravity's Rainbow
The Clash-Jimmy Jazz
The Hold Steady-Killer Parties
Bloc Party-Banquet
Chk Chk Chk-Must be the moon
Sonic Youth-Kool Thing

and some much slower,softer stuff:

Kate Walsh-Your Song
Blondie-Heart of Glass
Cokelat-Temani Aku
Jeff Buckley-Forget Her
Sinead O' Connor-Nothing Compares 2 u

And here I insert the weird,still unexplainable fact that my two most-played songs this week were Marilyn Manson's Heart-Shaped Glasses & Bjork's Earth Intruders.Marilyn Manson & Bjork (!)-two singers who I used to think were crazy creeps,evidently products of the world's collective chaos and fuckedupness-but my perception is starting to change.Plus,the videos for those songs (and also Fall Out Boy's new vid for Thanks for the memories-the vid's also known as Reason #1695 Why Kim Karshadian is Too Damn Hot for Earth) makes up for some of the most interesting things I've seen this week.

I can't say much about the Jet concert at Palaise Theatre yesterday,except it was so bloody awesome but the crowd's excitement was noticeably lukewarm everytime they played a song from their new album.Anyways,I'd like to recommend to everyone a band I'm currently very into-and with the rate they're growing,I have no doubt they'll burst into mainstream within the next year or two.You might like it,you might not-but here's a list of great songs from Modest Mouse suitable for anyone still unfamiliar with the band.

Modest Mouse for Beginners:

Float On
The World At Large
Dramamine
The Good Times are Killing Me
Gravity Rides Everything
Talking Shit about a pretty Sunset

Film

If you're not one to spend money on the tons of big blockbuster flicks currently hitting our screens,Once might be your cup of tea.Made under a small budget of 150k,it's garnered heaps of critical acclaim.I'm certainly one to prefer smaller films,but by the looks of the the film's trailer I have a feeling it's a bit too self-consciously indie (the music in the trailer alone indicates this).More info from Popbytes.

TV

Well,not really tv-but last night I was awoken at 4am by the noisy neighbours.They were shouting loudly in Indian and obviously in some kind of big argument (this was explained the next morning-when I saw my neighbour and his parents come out of the room).I was annoyed and angry,but scared too so I waited and did nothing for about 15 minutes or so-after that,I heard a door being slammed LOUD and all the noise ended.I was thinking of writing some note and slipping it under their door (like the notes on Passive-Aggressive-if you haven't checked out this site yet,you should!) but I didn't.If i did,it would probably say:

Hello! OH MY GOD I can't believe I'm your neighbour!What an HONOUR to be living next to one of the world's biggest SUPERSTARS!

Well,you ARE celebrities,aren't you?Oh now,don't be modest.By the noisy arguments and startlingly loud tantrums coming from your room late in the morning,I'm guessing you're filming some HUGE Indian BollyDRAMA (dum dum)-which got me SO excited I immediately IM-ed all my friends about it!Unfortunately,the dialogue sipping through the thin,meagre walls are purely Indian so I haven't a clue what's happening or being said-though knowing how amazingly dramatic you people are,there must be a few BIG things involved in the film plot:envious ex-husbands!sex-crazed housewives!incestuous sheep!cannibalistic lesbians!Needless to say,I'm a huge fan of bollywood films and the pretty people that star in them-I HEART BOLLYWOOD.One problem for you though-the multitude of scenes in which you all spontaneously explode into song and dance must cost you a BOMB (hah,how surprising-an accidental pun!),which is why I presume you're secretly filming most of the other non-musical scenes in your room,as to evade government filming tax or something like that!INGENIOUS!

.....

What,you're NOT a Bollywood superstar?And you're NOT filming scenes in your room?And you're Pakistani,not Indian?

Well,if so:I kindly ask you to SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY THEN.

I won't hesitate calling cops or the counter-terrorist unit.

Namaste.

P.S.:We should meet up for tea sometime.We could exchange facts about our country and culture,then show them off to our friends or something like that.Ah,the benefits of living in a multi-cultured society-countless!I haven't met you yet,but I sense we have a deep connection already.

......

Blogger's new autosave function could very possibly be the BEST THING EVAR.Intentional misspelling cos' it sounds cooler.Okay,nuff bimbo talk for one day.

Have a fantastic weekend.

The Man Who Sold The World

from Stereogum

Bizzare: Images of dead celebs Kurt Cobain,Joey Ramone,Sid Vicious & Joe Strummer being used in the new Doc Martens advertisements.

Clever how they're using well-established rock icons who each have their own long-existing and solid fanbase to try promote their products-and how these ads try to expand those products into some kind of grandiose experience or concept with help from those dead people-I mean,the Doc Marten boots aren't even properly distinguished in those ads (they could well be mistaken for everyday fishermen footwear),nor are they placed at the centre of attention.Slightly exploitative (but inoffensively so),but at least it gets the company some much-needed publicity-when was the last time you heard of Doc Marten boots?

Exactly.

Funniest comment I spotted at the Stereogum page:

This is bullshit. Everyone knows you wear birkenstocks in heaven.

Heatseeker

This will be very short because I have to hit the books soon.

Yesterday night was the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah concert (I don't think calling it a concert would be appropriate because there were merely 300-400 in attendance-but I can't find any other word) @ Hi-Fi Bar.Syaza and I left early and arrived 15 minutes before the advertised starting time,at 7.15 pm.Below were the sms's sent to determine this.

Al: Syaza,the thing starts at 7.30 p.m.You think it'd be too early to leave at 6.15?

Syz: Err,yea.How bout 6.45?Or is that too late?

Al: Hahaha,might be.6.35 at CS reception okay?

Syz: Yep,see ya.

And so we arrived a bit too early.Noone else was there yet,aside from some weird looking girl who was crouching near the entrance.We weren't allowed to go in yet,cos apparently security duds hadn't arrived or something like that-so we waited outside.And guess who we saw come out for a ciggie?

ALEC OUNSWORTH,CYHSY'S LEAD SINGER HIMSELF!

Being the proud and shameless Asians (and die-hard fans) we were,we went up to him asking for a pic and he was kind enough to oblige.See Syaza-come late dapat apa?Gambar with security people?Wahahaha.Syaza you owe me a roti canai.A HUGE one,not some ciplak Ali Maju pancake kay?The real thing tau.With colourful candles and icing that says 'Early Birds get The Juiciest Worms'.Wahaha kidding.

Anyhu,pics from the event.


They played for a bit more than an hour,a lot of songs from their first album (which was self-released in 05).They're genormous (a word I learned during lunch today) in the states,and elsewhere their fan base is slowly,but steadily growing.Anyone who still hasn't heard of them,I highly encourage downloading their songs.

Because it's good music,and it'd be a pity for you to miss out on it.

Allright,that's me for now.

Blogger keeps hitting me with this spacing problem thing and it's almost pissing me off.Almost.

All you lovely animals and ghosts be safe and joyful,and stay away from the evil humans who will try to lure you in with expensive candy and promises of fame.

Don't Worry (Be Happy)

For the past few days,the internet at home has been unusable but in many ways this is beneficial to me.A very productive weekend,with just the right amount of social contact to avoid going insane from being too reclusive.Anyhu,who measures these things?I'm going crazy through one way or another,so I might as well let it be.

Exams coming up in less than a fortnight so this blogging thing and other distractions will have to take a hiatus.I have this huge,frightening fear that I'll fail one of my subjects and have to re-enrol and re-do the first semester.If that happens,well-I'll cross that bridge (or cliff) when I get there.But hopefully,that won't happen.These silly irrational fears-be gone!

Both CYHSY and Jet performances are these week-which only means the studying intensity has to go further up,so I can truly enjoy these things!-but all I've been listening to are The Strokes.I can't get enough of them.This very moment,the song Reptilia is playing on my Ipod for the 7000th time,probably.

Home is barely a few weeks away!It's the last week of school!I can't say much now-so here are some useful quotes to fight off bad vibes and remain optimistic & happy for the dreaded exam season.

The universe is your creation-what you think and feel,you ultimately become.

Wether you think you can do it or you can't-either way,you're right.

Okay!BE HAPPY EVERYONE!

FRALALALALA KABOOM!

Some Loud Thunder

So Friday finally arrives and I only have one lecture in the morning to attend.That lecture was a drag and everyone was just moaning in pain the whole way,but after an hour it ended and I was a free bird.Had a quick lunch where the usual ranting took place,then walked home burping.All I wanted to do was shut the blinds,lights and take a long,long nap and hopefully have a nice dream about being a magic panda,but I know this kind of unproductive behaviour tend to stretch into the weekends once it takes off-but my mind felt too blagh to properly study anyways.So I started dressing for the gym,determined to avoid falling asleep.But nowdays,I'm starting to feel sick of the gym-Cardio.Weights.Cardio.STOP.REWIND.PLAY.I'm starting to feel like a bloody cyborg-hence,I decided it was time to introduce new things in hope of making my exercise regime more interesting.A long walk would both give me time to think about this and everything else,and would also qualify as a type of new 'thing'-two birds,one stone.It started raining,at first slightly then heavily-but I had already made up my mind and no way was the weather going to ruin my plan.With only the camera and Ipod, I walked out armed with the thickest hoodie I have-into the wild rain,and so began my small adventure.

I took many pictures,but most of them looked too bland.I try to take them from different angles where the picture would be less subjective,but contain more depth-and also try to reduce the empty spaces in the pictures (ie:skies) because I find that unless they exist to compliment something in the picture,they take centre stage and tend to produce an outcome with an unfocused objective.I should take some photography classes and get something better than the 5mpg Cybershot I currently use.But for now,that will do.

The last three were some of the interesting things I saw on my journey.That last pic-a mother had a thin blue rope tied to her son's neck.But he was running everywhere,touching things and laughing loudly to himself.And the mom had this bored-to-death look stuck on her face which made the whole thing funny as hell.

Like the rain-weekdays are full of chaos and thunder,but the weekend comes and the air is calm and peaceful.

Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)

Okay,before anything-I need to get something out of the way.I'm not in a very good mood now,but I believe going on to rant about it won't help with anything.So I'll choose the next best option,which is to curse my heart out,then try to forgive.

You stupid motherfucking cunt with your ugly chipmunk hair and so-called "indirect" messages.You laugh like the devil,and have mosquito bites for boobs.

Go to hell bitch.You are not the nice person I thought you were.I've come to discover that you possess many faces-all of them ugly as a pig's ass.

And that silly zombie boyfriend of yours-that guy with a lunchbox for a head and enough pimples for anyone to accidentally mistake him for Mars.

Both of you,get out of my face.

.....

Man,that's kinda mean even for my standards.Then again,what standards?Since when do I have standards?Honestly though-I don't feel angry too much,just really annoyed and I'm sure by tomorrow morning I won't remember a thing.It's just a 5-minute thing where for a solid 5 minutes I feel like strangling people and throwing things out the window,but after that period where rationality momentarily disappears,I remind myself there are bigger things in life to think/worry about (than some unworthy assholes) and that I've met worse people before.Oh shoot,my five minutes are up.

Happy time!

This morning's QM lecture was fun,where we were shown how to not answer questions.The following two examples were taken directly from my QM lecture slides.

Bweeheehee.I hope people can read this though,it's kinda tiny.But cute elephant.Elephants are good,even the evil ones.Random note before signing off-for fun I've started naming posts with song titles (beginning with the last 3 posts,and this one-I might post a snippet from the song sometimes) as to find a song that best reflects my current state of mind with its title and/or lyrics.And i'll change the huge pic I have up there from time to time.

Don't give us none of your aggravation

We had it with your discipline

Saturday night's alright for fighting

Get a little action in

Because change is vital,music is my soul (assuming I have one) and I have nothing better to do.

Tainted Love

Monday bloody Monday.Nothing much really,nothing interesting.And I prefer this blank state of mind than any kind of emotional turmoil.Was studying Accounting-the very mention of that word can send me straight into a whole day of sleep-and no surprise,I got bored.And there was a camera lying around.


That last one's my new imaginary friend Helga.She hails from Ukraine and says stupid cute things like hewu.She creeps me out sometimes.But highlighters are fun-sometimes we under appreciate these small inventions.Where would I be without resealable plastic bags,staplers or highlighters?I'd be living in 1908.And I hear that's not a nice time to live in.The women back then don't shave,so I hear.Speaking of shaving,one of my accounting classmates is this nice girl I've known for a few weeks-today she raised her hand in class to answer a question,to expose her hairy armpits.Girls with hairy armpits are what we call apes.It was so hairy and thick she probably keeps some worms in there as pets.And eats them for lunch.But every cloud has a silver lining.If not for apegirl,I would've resorted to drawing silly cartoons on my accounting notes and that would've meant I would have to erase them out later.And a wasteful use of rubber is not good for the environment.So in a very tiny way,apegirl is Captain Planet.Saving the environment day by day.I salute you apegirl.

This goes out to all girls with unshaven armpits.You are the unvoiced heroes of our time,defenders of truth and righteousness.I love you all.

Peace and Harmony forever and ever.

A Certain Romance

Just brushed my teeth.That sharp Listerine effect hasn't left my mouth yet,but at least it smells healthy.I know recently they introduced the mild-version of Listerine that's supposed to be "less intense",but the sole reason I use Listerine is because of the sharp Listerine effect-it's painful but only for a minute or so after,and that pain makes my gums feel healthier somehow.When I told this to a friend,she called me sadomasochistic.I think she's been watching a bit too much porn.

As far as Saturdays go,today was pretty productive and even with the uni library's sleepy ambiance and creepy silence I managed to not fall asleep in that dungeon for a few hours.Truth is,I feel happy.This is the best Saturday I've had in weeks-and maybe because the last five days have been hectic and crazily disorganized,that the littlest amount of peace I get now is magnified a hundred times.

Right now all I'm craving for is a cup of tea.Not just tea actually,but the Chinese tea at-what's it called-the Japanese restaurant at Melbourne Central,near Nandos.The food there is fooking expensive-three dollars for two slices of sushi,each not bigger than a newborns penis-but for two dollars (or so),you get a small cup of chinese tea with free refills.They serve the tea in one of those fancy pots filled with leaves and all kinds of nice-smelling goodies that inexplicably have a great therapeutic effect.So anyone with life issues to solve I highly recommend going over to Tomadachi (yes,now I remember) for a cup of Chinese tea-okay now that I'm writing it,it sounds weird that they're serving Chinese tea in a Japanese restaurant.It's probably Japanese,but something about 'Japanese tea' reminds me of urine,so for now let's call it Chinese tea-anyhu,call a friend or two-or go alone if you feel like it,especially during those times when you're head's so messed up you can't be bothered to socialise or just need some alone time-and have some tea.It probably won't answer all those problems bothering you,but for a while you're allowed to sip some tea and think of absolutely nothing but how good it smells,how great the hot cup feels in your hands and the fact that no matter how annoyed the waitress feels after you ask your 700th refill-it's your money,your time and she's not even pretty enough to make you give two shits.

Went to Greasy Joe's at St Kilda to celebrate Mae's 19th yesterday-I'd post some pics but I feel lazy-anyhu,my point is: the burgers there are TO DIE FOR.The prices aren't cheap-but convert them into Malaysian Ringgit,and you'll find that it's pretty much what you pay for a decent steak or burger in Chili's or TGIF back home.After ordering our food-I kept pestering the guy who was serving us-first it was candles cos' our tables were too dim,then extra sauce,then where's the toilet,bla bla bla-to the point where he blurted out ''Man,you ask for a lot of things don't you''.I wouldn't have been annoyed by this,if not for the fact that the place was practically empty except for another group of five or so seated elsewhere and the two middle-aged men at the bar drinking beer.But later on,I pestered him again (determined,as a customer to not let these bastards make me feel inferior) because they gave me wedges instead of chips-and in return,he gave me a free bowl of chips (do the math,chips+wedges=joy).So conclusion,a free bowl of chips more than makes up for a rude waiter.

Back at Mae's home where all of us played Taboo,which at one point had me laughing like a madpig.The word/answer was 'twins'.

Mae: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are-?
Schien: LAME!

Bwahahaha.

Winter's on,and for neurotically self-conscious fat farts like me-it means being able to don a thick winter jacket that discreetly hides the bulging stomach-especially after a big meal when it looks like I'm 2 years pregnant,and the baby just refuses to come out-the winter jacket keeps me warm in more ways than one.What else is great about Winter?-well,a lot of people would list the reasons why they hate winter and I don't blame them-what's not to hate?The bone chilling temperatures,the raised electric bills from using the heater,the fact that the beach's off-limits unless you have a suicidal wish to die from pneumonia-but then again,there's lot to love about Winter.This sounds stupid and cliche,but what the hell-it's romantic.Oh yes,even more romantic if you can ignore the absence of snow.I'm reminded of that scene in Wicker Park,in which Josh Hartnett & Diane Kruger go out for a walk in the snow.It's romantic but on a small scale-no big proposals,reaffirming of emotions or whatever-but it's romantic,I can tell you that.

Lightning Crashes

When I was in form four,there was a teacher whose classes were all about him spreading all sorts of nasty,intoxicating propaganda that it came to a point where I started sitting at the back of class with some others,pretended to listen while trying to do some math work-but occasionally this crazy teacher,who obviously had problems of his own-came up with something worth listening to.Like this one time,for two weeks he had us write daily journals,comprising of lists-it had to be 5 things.There was-5 ambitions I abandoned for the idea of practicality.5 history topics I find breathtakingly dull.5 seniors I look up to.And all that fakey bull.And one of my classmates,being the self-elected mascot of light optimism he was-did the same list for the whole 2 weeks: '5 things that made me smile today'.

So here's mine,just for today.

1. That hideous Got Milk? ad based the upcoming Fantastic 4 sequel.I thought the first movie wasn't anything to shout about-but there was one good scene (the one where they kill the villain by combining all their powers,Jessica Alba shouts 'Supernova!' and together they form this massive fireball).The jokes often fall flat (and by the looks of the new trailer for the sequel,I guess it'll be the same case) but what pisses me the most is that the guy who plays Mr. Fantastic has zero screen presence or appeal of any kind and should probably never take up a leading role in any movie.Fantastic ka?More like spastic.He should be the one with invincible powers,cos' I barely notice he's there in the film.Blagh.Anyways,back to wherever-the poster's silly and everything looks like its hastily superimposed.

2. News that Muffin gave birth to 5 kittens-one died,but hopefully the others will survive.I checked it out and they share the same birthday with a handful of celebs and historical figures,most of them noone I'd care about-except maybe Bono.Maybe i'll name one 'Buster',based on the character in Arrested Development.

3. This vid of Natalie Portman on SNL-going amok and wreaking havoc gangsta-style.Lame,but funny as hell.

4. These songs.Probably the only music I've been hearing all day.Not complaining.

Fiona Apple-Use Me
Scissor Sisters-She's My Man
Blur-Song 2
Pixies-Dig For Fire
Third Eye Blind-We Were Merely Freshmen
Live-Lightning Crashes
Pearl Jam-Yellow Ledbetter
Fiona Apple-The Child is Gone

The Strokes-Reptilia

See that song I have in bold?I'm obsessed with it-can't stop playing it,so I put it on auto-replay for a few hours at a time.But the one I have downloaded is a live version and says that its Pearl Jam performing (but I doubt it-sometimes Limewire gets these things wrong.One time I downloaded a whole bunch of Greenday songs and they weren't Greenday,but some old wannabe hags singing drunkenly.But just try downloading Pearl Jam-Lightning Crashes (Live Cover),which is probably the best version available for download).The lyrics sound deep,but I can't be bothered to decipher them.

If it sounds depressing,it probably is-Wiki says the band dedicated the song to one of their friends who died when a drunk driver fleeing cops hit her car,and most of her organs were donated after her death.I guess songs with true events,or written by someone affected by grief-it really shows in the impact of the song.Like Beatles' Julia-a really sad song-,was also written with someone one of the band members had lost at that time in mind.But a song that affects you,affects you because it just does in some personal way only you'd understand, and not because there was some story behind it.

Lightning crashes Video.

Some guy singing it acoustic.

A vid of the song performed live.

The song just unravels me-it just reads,translates,misplaces,breaks,affects me in ways I just can't explain.

Note:Fans of Radio Dept should check out the tracks on the Lost In Translation soundtrack.

5. Daydreaming in qm tutorial.The tutor was going on and on but I couldn't focus-so my mind strayed off to some to another place.Somewhere or something nice which had something to do with Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Haih.

Lost No More

It's about 6.10 p.m., and it's already dark.

-Why oh why Scarlett J have you suddenly looked so dull and unattractive to me?Well,personally I loved that whole weirdo act you pulled nicely with the lovely Thora Birch in 'Ghost World'-which first brought you to my attention.And your superb,understated acting chops in 'Lost In Translation' just sealed the deal.So for a substantial amount of time you exuded this kind of gracious eroticism that enchanted half the world-before choosing to succumb to powerless,booby-flaunting roles that constantly placed you as an almost non-existent supporting act (i.e:The Prestige,Black Dahlia),and from that pic there-I see that your presence has unfortunately faded away into being nothing much.It's time for Sofia Coppola and you to work together again,though preferably on something different and unexpected.But wait,do me a favour-avoid Woody Allen-you two are like sex and children-as individual entities very interesting,but illegal together.

-Bad news for me at least.Having been so passionately into LOST this season (having gone through the effort to download each new episode every week),I was eager to discover what mind-boggling answers the writers of the show would provide as payoffs to viewers who stuck through the show all this while.But hearing today's news that it'll go on for another THREE SEASONS-concluding in 2010-is plain unbearable.I'll be graduating,and busy pretending to be an adult then.No way in hell can my interest sustain that long,and I bet few fans-even the committed ones-are actually happy about this news.

-RottenTomatoes ranks the worst-to-best comic book films:Spiderman 2 ranks top (no surprise there) and Son of The Mask (poor Alan Cumming) is considered worst.And god bless,Garfield's (love the comic,but the film's downright nasty) right up there along with some other films I wished I never watched-but,uhum,I know there are probably only two others out there somewhere,who actually didn't mind Electra and Catwoman.Yes,they were awful-but everyone has guilty pleasures-like how I secretly listen to Hilary Duff songs when noone's around-the silly dialogue,Jennifer Garner in a leather corset or Sharon Stone getting slapped repeatedly by a masked woman in heels,armed with a whip to boot.It's like laughing when you hear your ex-girlfriend got fat or hooked up with some major sleaze-not a nice thing to do,but secretly very satisfying.

-Lily Allen coming to Melb in August (concert info here).Some of her songs are wonderfully unique,vibrant with life and humour and Lily Allen herself has been successfully marketed as some sort of anti-pop idol.Am a fan,and I might consider going-but I find that some of her songs are too light and chirpy,and might not sound all too amazing performed live.

Have a great week,people.

Spiderman 3

Just returned from watching Spiedrman 3 at Hoyts.

So when the film ends and the lights come on,I look to Clarice who has sunk to her chair,one hand clutching her chest and the other over her mouth-that was exactly how I felt after the movie, too-it felt unbelievable.

Overwhelming.Exhilarating.Whatever.

I'm too tired to think straight so this so-called review will be a dumb-ass,lazy one-those searching for an intelligent,through analysis should look elsewhere.

Firstly,to come up with a simple,short and perfectly relevant description of the film would be undifficult-it was all a bit too much.There were three separate villians,several subplots and overall it was like pumping too much air into a bicycle tyre.Kaboom.But they just keep pumping.Just for fun,here are the list of things I would personally omit from the film (spoilers-but I doubt they'll spoil your experience):

-Mary-Jane & Harry's rekindling.Yes,Spidey's become a selfish,boastful bastard and begun to ignore his 'girl-next-door' girlfriend,so she strays off right into the arms of the normal guy next door.When they dance in the kitchen childishly,acting silly and basking in their own common,everyday normality-we get it,they're both normal and can't possibly compare to Peter's fame and power.But then Harry's amnesia disappears,and he becomes some sort of twisted puppeteer-threatening Mary Jane,smirking and scoffing like Satan while Peter and Mary Jane both sulk in their individual misery booths.It's all a bit too soapy,like an undiscovered Spiderman reel made with Meg Ryan and a charming-romantic-comedy-turned-sour plot idea in mind.

-Two parts.First,where Parker walks coyly on a street feeling all self-absorbed and shit-he dances,flirts,people stare and stuff.Not funny,just really dumb.And another part in a jazz bar where he dances around,spoofing Jim Carrey in The Mask-either a blind,aspiring MTV video director did this,or they really thought it would work.Some of the film's weakest parts.

-So when Spidey discovers his uncle's true killer,he feels enraged and like Harry,engages in a personal vendetta to avenge his uncle.At the same time,he stumbles upon Venom-this alien thingy which attaches itself to people,making them all dark and evil.I'm sure spidey comic fans know what the hell this creature is-I mean,first it lands on some meteor or something-we're never given any explanation about where it comes from,why it's evil by nature,how come in the end it dies from hearing the clicking of metal pipes-the whole concept's intriguing and the special effect opportunities the film gets from the introduction of this character is astounding-but the lack of explanation for this character goes to show how lazy the writers were.

-Topher Grace.He's a nice guy-all cunning smiles and quick,witty jokes-and when he turns evil it's supposed to be frightening,shocking and entertaining-but he has the voice of a 16 year old and a face that says 'I sleep before 9,go to all my tutorials and aspire to become a worthy member of the society'.So when the vicious-looking Venom takes over,voiced by Topher Grace-it's like Dakota Fanning trying to pull a Jack Nicholson.

The film didn't feel long,in fact I felt thoroughly entertained allthroughout-it just felt tedious and messy,the film's tone constantly indecisive about which part it wanted to focus on.New things kept appearing-new conflicts,characters turning bad-good (vice versa),new characters,bla bla bla.Plus,I laughed quite loudly (and crudely) a few times-and I was certain I wasn't the only one laughing.Examples:

-So the climax arrives-Spidey has to save Mary Jane from a cab suspended mid-air while battling two baddies.There's a lot of action onscreen-Spidey hits,gets hit,hits again-goes up,down,swerves,ducks,leaps and does all kinds of cool Spidey stunts,when at one point both Sandman and Venom have him tied and are about to kill him-it gets my heart racing like mad-then the camera moves to a tv reporter who says something like "This is unbelievable.I cannot believe this is happening to Spiderman".Which is when I burst out laughing.Can it BE (Chandler-style) more obvious?It's like the directors felt like they were showing this film to a couple of newborn retards-so they sneak in a line in the script that's supposed to say "Hey,cuties-incase you're too stupid to figure it all out-Spiderman's getting his ass kicked and this doesn't happen much and he might just die"-and all us adorable retards go "OH".

-So Harry knew Spidey killed his dad (back in Spiderman 1) and still refuses to let go-he turns to the dark side,finds a couple of neat-looking explosives and goes out to hunt Spidey,determined to kill him.For a very long time,he holds on to this murderous grudge-only until an accident leaves him with amnesia,so when he regains his memory he sets out to accomplish his orginal plan-yaddi yaddi ya.So as a viewer,you expect him to personally figure out these tough issues he has and finds it in himself to forgive Peter,right?Uhum.This is how it really goes-he goes out to kill Spidey,fails,gets into some memory loss problem,remembers again,goes out to torture Spidey's body and soul now-but wait,he has a stunning,significant realisation-which pushes him to forgive and turn all good again.But who is this pure,kind soul who has reminded him of his inner goodness and persuaded him to embrace forgiveness?Himself?His best friend Peter?Peter's Grandma?Mary Jane?Someone important?Or some deliberately random and insignificant character who appears out of nowhere suddenly,only to conveniently provide him some much-needed deep 'life' advice (before disappearing into the abyss of nothingness he originated from,never to be seen ever again?!)?If you guessed that last one,you're a genius.His godamn fucking butler,who has barely two lines in the entire movie-comes along and elects himself Oprah,giving Harry all the tasty moral advice that inspires him to let go.Humph.

-So when Spidey turns evil,he dumps his old-self in favour of a new personality-he's rebellious,destructive,unrestrained-this new him hurts Mary Jane,and almost kills his best friend.So how is this change depicted?Black,thick eyeliners,a new sideparting that covers half his face,and basically he looks more goth,punk or whatever.Which is why I have a pic of 30 seconds to Mars frontman Jared Leto up there-the resemblence is uncanny.Parker's been made a cheap and obvious imitation of Leto.I'm sure there were smarter methods the directors or whoever in charge could've used to depict the personality change-something subtle and not laughable-but they've turned him into a gothic,angry teenager who listens to My Chemical Romance,has a 'Fuck Conformity' tatoo on his ankle and vows to one day run from home to become a transexual prostitute in Vegas.

And many more.

Yes,I laughed a lot-but they weren't times when I should have.But who cares.The film does have its share of corny moments which are easy to forgive (I'm sure without them,it would've felt too serious) and it gets many things right.

-Mary Jane,although still no less than a mere damsel in distress,is more fleshed out this time around and given more screen time.Kirsten Dunst crying a bit too much,but better than ever.

-The previous Spidey installments gave too much focus on Spiderman,we almost forgot Peter Parker's actually human.In Spiderman 3,there are times when Parker breaks down,cries and it all makes a compelling watch-Tobey Maguire finally gets a chance to act,and not just act all dorky and adorable.

-The effects more superior than that of the first two (even though the second won an Oscar for visual effects)-if there's one thing that definitely doesn't disappoint,it's the action scenes.Though laden with special effects,cgi and all that techy shit-it still takes your breath away.It's obvious they spent a hell lot of money for this film.

-Bryce Dallas Howard,Thomas Haden Church and Topher Grace are all,in theory,interesting and vital in their own individual way-but they're too forgettable.Much of the film's limelight still belongs to Peter & Mary Jane,in this way our interest might sustain for future sequels to attract us.

-The ending.As the last two films have determined endings set out with a particular objective (the first:to say bye bye Mary I can't risk you,the second:yeay we're in love now and everything's okay),this time director Sam Raimi adopts an open-ending where things are left in shades of grey,uncertain.Much like how the film's uncertain about almost everything.Thumbs up for the ending.

That breathless feeling I got after the film-it fades away eventually,and disappears after 15 mins or so.The film has many flaws,but in the end it all satisfies and it gives you your money's worth.The effects alone provide enough reason for anyone to see this movie-the way the motion breathes and lives in this film,you can't find it elsewhere.But don't expect any emotional fullfillment or satisfaction from the storyline,though-many critics have penned this the worst Spidey flick,in which the franchise jumps the shark-and it's perfectly understandable-but I still reckon it's quite good,but could've definitely been better.

Go rent out Batman Begins if you want something much better.

4/5

Spiders

Overheard at the Arts Building.

Boy: You've never been depressed before?
Girl: Nope.
Boy: Not even for like,five minutes-you've never felt down?
Girl: Nope.I'm just a very happy person!
Boy: Hah!-What about the time Dave broke up with you?
Girl: He did that cos' he thought I had a thing for you.
Boy: Ha?
Girl: Lunch?
Boy: Lunch.

It's fascinating the kind of things I tend to overhear nowadays-proving that sometimes the most interesting things come out of the most humdrum and daily occurrences like small talk.Anyhu,the day began really early with two lectures starting at 9-followed by three hours at the Commerce comlab discussing work with the QM group mates.I felt really anti-social today (unreasonably worse than usual)-and I have no idea why,but I just felt like not talking to anyone.But by noon the weird behaviour subsided and things went on as normal again-I think it might have been the fact that the cup of hot Milo I had this morning tasted bloody awful,and that might have contributed to the cranky mood.

Or it might have been the accounting lecture-where we spent twenty minutes calculating Ratio analysis,which is as interesting as dating a corpse.I kept telling myself "Just hold on,persevere-accounting is interesting.Yes it is",hoping to coax myself into loving the subject.I try to make up reasons to love it,but it tends to work against me.The lecture hall looks like an abandoned hospital.The guy next to me is rubbing his thigh against me.The lecturer looks like Dilbert and makes repetitive jokes about banks.I reach that state of dazed tranquility when I'm so incredibly bored the mind runs savage with imagination-people become furniture,words turn to songs and somewhere in my new,foreign world a girl named Bambina is waiting to take me to India on a winged elephant.

But hey,things could be much worse.At least the word 'science' wasn't mentioned.Oh yes,the accounting lecture took place at Sunderland theatre @ Medical building-after the lecture I had few minutes to spare before rushing off to the Microecons lecture next,so I took some time to venture the building,going in and out,here and there (deep inside wishing I'd find some secret portal into another fantasy universe where dream unicorns and topless mermaids live)-pretending to be a med undergrad and mixing with all those smart people momentarily made me feel as if my intelligence tripled.It's like when Spiderman got bit by that spider,passed out and woke up feeling all strong-yeap that's precisely how it felt like-the lecture so painfully dull and unbearable I sort of passed out,only to have my inner spirit and energy reignited by the supreme,superhuman genius which the Med building exudes.

Speaking of Spiderman,will be seeing the new sequel this Sunday hopefully-it's been getting bad reviews all-around and dubbed the worst out of the three installments (the main consesus is that there's a bit too much going on in the movie)-but it's a Spidey flick,and the last two were spectacular and made box office history.The best thing I find about them is how they get A-list actors to play the villians:Willem Dafoe played the green goblin superbly,Alfred Molina kicked ass as Doc Ock,and I have zero doubt Thomas Haden Church will be equally excellent as Sandman.Plus,I know a lot of people find her repulsive and loathsome-but having once been Sofia Coppola's muse (and the main star in a number of Coppola's films),I've grown to like Kirsten Dunst.And even if the story crumbles,I really hope there'll be sufficient action to make up for it.The best thing about this movie will most definitely be it's soundtrack.

Visit the film soundtrack's MySpace -where you can hear audio clips,and see the track listing that features new singles from Yeah Yeah Yeah's,Wolfmother,Jet,the Killers and many many more.Plus there's a new Snow Patrol track-after the disgusting and unforgivable overkill of 'Chasing Cars' from being played on Grey's Anatomy (a show which I still like,primarily because of Callie's character,solid narrative and brilliant music choices),I saw the band as being irreversibly overrated,overplayed and just plain shitty-and proceeded to block my ears from any of their music-but their new track 'Signal Fire' (from the Spidey soundtrack)-though forgettable and overly mellow,it's sentimental but not nearly as dishonestly sappy like Chasing Cars-and that's a positive indication that the band won't be repeating the same mistake anytime soon.

There's this girl in my QM tut who has the largest eyes-when you look into them,you can't help but feel overwhelmed somehow by the sheer magnitude of those things.I don't know and don't really care what the rest of her body looks like-it's just those magnificent,wide eyes that have some sort of gravitational pull on me,and I can't help but feel like I'm staring rudely everytime I look into her eyes-which is why I never do.To the girl with eyes in which I look into and see a dark sunset-here's some music to make your existence feel less melancholy,bitch.

Tori Amos-Lovesong
Cold War Kids-Cabaret
Natasha Bedingfield-The Scientist
Razorlight-America
Modest Mouse-The good times are killing me
Tracy Chapman-Another sun

I lied,most of those songs are sad.It's an anti-cure that's sure as hell gonna work.I came across this joke while watching SBS-

On average,5-year old children have seen 10,000 people killed on TV.But they keep watching with the statisical chance that a Teletubby will be next.

Hah.

Those Girls

The lecturer listlessly claps his hands twice-we've learnt to take these small gestures of his as a sign that the lecture's concluded.People head for the exit in the flurry,as I look to Tiffany-who still hasn't packed her things and is hurriedly scribbling something across a torn page in her diary.Her hair's typically tied up neatly,but at this particular moment two strands fall out,loosely hanging near her forehead.

"Ugh,I wish I could go bald-I hate hair",she anrgily says-she stands up and begins throwing things into her blue bag,and in less than a minute we're both out of the building and walking to the South Lawn.I imagine her bald-and decide that she might look sexy that way.

''Do you think she's single?'',I inquire-I need not mention a name or explain the situation,we've both visited this topic few times before over meals and so on.For a second she turns away as if I've insulted her,but then turns her head towards me-her eyes dart straight into mine,her face tenses up and becomes noticeably more alive then before-"That girl,is a slut",she says with full conviction.

"You're so presumptuous",I reply-a lazy chuckle follows.I'm well-aware she doesn't mean half of what she says,her sarcastic and often insensitive remarks are her personal attempts at sounding witty and sharp.Sometimes I think of her that way,but I find her best when she's not trying at all.

''Oh,I'm sorry-I didn't mean to insult your God-oh,i mean gerrrl-fwen",turning her eyes upward,at the same time taking out a cigarette from the side of her bag.We pass by a group of four or five Asians seated on the grass,deep in discussion,one of them animatedly describing something to do with Korea with his hands moving constantly.Lighting the fag with one hand shielding it from the wind,she proceeds with the conversation-"Well,I've only met her twice,three if you count that time in the library when she totally ignored me-and from what I've seen,what I've observed-",a gust of wind blows rudely into her face,prompting her to stop and turn sideways,now she's playing with her hair-fiercely pulling all the loose strands into one manageable bunch."Ugh",looking visibly annoyed-"she looks like one of those girls-you know.Those girls."

I think to myself.Those girls.I'm accustomed to the various type of stereotypes people invent-but she could be referring to anything-morally bankrupt sluts?condescending do-gooders?one-dimensional wannabes?I start to get confused in my own thoughts,so I proceed to guess-"Erm.Girls who keep impossible fantasies?",I look to her for a response but her face displays none-I press on,"You mean those girls searching for some kind of perfect fantasy-girls who hope to find a Mr. right?."

''No-those girls.The kind who-",her right hand rises to briefly touch my arm,before pressing against her own stomach,fingers going up and down at varying speeds-it's this habitual thing she does when she's searching for words,"-who idolise the characters from Sex and the City.Well,put simply-they hold a couple of basic principles that aren't too hard to understand."

I nod along and prepare myself for Women 101 with Tiffany,legs carefully descending a flight of stairs.She continues,"They're simple.Not shallow.Simple."

"There's a difference?"

"Not really".I'm not sure whether she's being sarcastic.

'They're the kind of girls who talk bull.Ninety percent of what comes out of their mouths is gossip-their oxygen,basically.They speak fluent French-but only in perfumes and handbags.They're basically at the bottom of the human chain-slaves of the media and modern world.And,boyfriends to them are an absolute necessity-to them,not having one would be like missing a soul.They're fairly predictable,and most of them grow out of it anyways."

My eyes wander to her,studying her profile,body,and finally her feet.There's an overwhelming dominance of dark colours on her clothes-aside from the bright red belt adorned nicely around her large waist.There's a piece of gum stuck behind one of her sneakers,but it doesn't cross my mind that I need to tell her about this."How do you know all of this-how are you even sure she's like that?"-we cross the road,careful not to bump into anyone.

"Well,for one-I was one of those girls.Before I got some brain power and body fat.And now that I've been on both sides-if you catch my drift-I sort of,understand girls better",smiling widely as she says this.And I prefer not to argue with her on this part-I haven't known her long but we've had enough conversations and time with each other for me to know what she's been through-both of us aren't too different-both unwilling misfits,always feeling like we're separated from the world and ourselves.

Her cigarette comes to an end-she approaches a part of the ground where a handful of leaves lie idly,drops it to the ground and steps on it.We both continue to walk,headed for the Law building."You might be right.Or wrong.Or really wrong.I think I should get to know her better".

"You know one,you know all".We both laugh at this,acknowledging the irony.

We cross a small road and reach the entrance of the Law building,time for us to part ways.Tiffany reaches for the side of her backpack again,contemplating another cigarette before noticing the time on her wristwatch.We're both 5 minutes late,time to wish our goodbyes-I rush off to Lincoln park for my group meeting,while she quickly joins the crowd of people on their way to enter the Law building.

Something crosses my mind.I quickly turn back for Tiffany,running towards her and throwing a light punch on the back of her shoulder.She turns around,her face a raging question mark.

"I read this neat quote somewhere-What's past,is prologue.Nice ey?".

"Huh?",she looks slightly amused,but more frustrated.

"You're late for class.Go"

"You're weird,seriously",forcefully smiling to the man holding the door for her-now we're both on one side of the glass wall,she walks towards another side of the building,but throws one last angry look at me.

"GUM",I shout,pointing to my left foot-but I doubt she can hear me.