Not Funny

Neal: My mom says women prefer guys with a good sense of humor.

Bill: But you're not funny.

Neal: Screw you. I'm hilarious!

From Freaks & Geeks episode,'I'm With The Band'.

....

Wray: So what are you going to do now?

Cherry: I'm going to be a stand-up comedian.
Wray: You're not funny.

Cherry: That's what I keep trying to tell everybody but they all say I'm hilarious

Wray: But you're not.

Cherry: There's a difference between being frank,and being dick.

Robert Rodriguez Planet Terror,2007.
...

Predictable

My thoughts are running slightly haywire and the past few hours have been maddening,but it's not the kind of stuff I'd want to talk about.So here's introducing a new segment-i'll post a quote,a line,a dialogue from a movie,song or anywhere possible that,at that very moment,lies at the very top of my head as an idle memory and begs to be written down.Because during times like these writing down something of my own seems such a hard task,plus sometimes the best messages and meanings are contained in the smallest amount of words (though whichever quote/line I choose to post up won't necessarily reflect anything on my part-i.e:how I'm feeling).

Ordell: You can't trust Melanie,but you can trust Melanie to be Melanie.

Quentin Tarantino's Jackie Brown,1997.

Knocked Up

This is the kind of movie you'll miss due to it drowning in the inevitable overhype for other blockbuster films released at the same time (I'm looking at you,Homer),only for you to watch it on a lazy Saturday afternoon years later after discovering a dvd copy of it by accident somewhere in your house,or actually running out to get one because you're done hearing bloody Al rave endlessly about Knocked Up and you want to see for yourself if it's all that good.

As far as comedies go,I usually walk in with relatively low expectations-the usual culprits are unmissable:uninteresting one-dimensional characters with superficial problems;formulaic,paper-thin stories littered with holes (all overlooked,if only for the sake of a good joke),and aside from the exceptionally hilarious Borat,I can't think of a comedy I've seen in the past two or three years that's managed to stick in my mind.Things look grim for the comedy genre-the current trend shows a surge of popularity for sick and unfunny parodies (Epic Movie,Scary Movie 4),your once-adorable-but-now-deplorable-and-exhaustively-unimaginative-comedy-archetypes:be it another wide-eyed,narcissistic Will Ferrell character or supposedly cute and loveable animated creation carrying with it a script of terminally dull gags (Shrek 3,Chicken Little),all films destined to end up in the massive black hole of forgettable comedies that should've never existed.

Which is why Judd Apatow's new film comes off fresh and genuinely amusing-the characters here are fleshed out to be human,the problems they face and situations that occur don't simply function as a disposable platform for the writers to throw in a couple of mild jokes-but are actually driving the story forward,a story that after mid-point,starts to introduce some pretty mature themes that are delicately managed as to not undermine the serious issues that come into play (pregnancy,questions about abortion,marital problems etc.),without abandoning the film's persistent spirit of comedy.

More importantly,anyone who's been in a relationship would appreciate and understand how the film deals with both the male & female perspective without seeming biased towards either,and it's interesting to see such things dealt subjectively for once.Likewise,none of the characters are written to be more or less favourable,but three-dimensional unlike how certain comedies tend to label 'good' and 'bad' characters from the get-go.As a result it's not only an immensely enjoyable comedy,but an intelligent story that encourages the audience to think and participate,as opposed to simply turning their brains off the whole time.

Not to say it doesn't stumble a couple of times,because it does have its misgivings-all that realism preceding the final 20 minutes is ultimately phased out in favour of a sweet ending I would personally change,Katherine Heigl has the smile of a goddess but overacts a little but it's hardly noticable,and to give the film good soundtrack would've been terrific.And I would give Micheal Cera a small cameo at least (as if the fact that half of the now all grown-up cast of Freaks & Geeks is in there isn't cool enough).But those are strictly minor complaints,and there were plenty of times I had to catch my breath from laughing so hard.Certainly one of the best comedies I've seen in a long,long,long time.

Jay: I'm going to be there to rear your child.

Jason: You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!
.....

Ben: Do you want to do it doggie style?

Alison: You're not going to fuck me like a dog.

Ben: It's doggie style. We don't have to go outside or anything.

.....

P.S: Don't try googling 'Knocked Up' without safe search on,unless you have a fetish for pregnant women.

Dirty Nun

Alright,I haven't really taken seriously how often Syaza says what a good show Office Uk/Extras or how great Ricky Gervais is-but damn,now that i've seen the stuff he does (an abundance of em' posted on YouTube),i'd say the man's a genius,his comedy bordering on the legendary.Above's the vid of Kate Winslet on Extras,hilarious as HELL-other eps are equally effing awesome too,esp the ones of Danielle Radcliffe,Chris Martin,David Bowie,Orlando Bloom,Patrick Stewart (just go on Ytube,search for extras-name of actor).And unsurprisingly,those are all the eps i've seen so far-meaning to this point not a single ep has disapppointed.

Fallen Heroes

I'm at the uni cos' the internet at home is going through that time of the month.I don't have much time to dwell on petty matters,there's a planet to save for god's sake!But I'm sure my compatriots can manage the giant dinomonkeys and robot Martians surreptitiously disguised as clueless old hags,backs bent and bespectacled eyes to the ground,waiting to pounce on any unknowing human who approaches even with good intentions,well.So for the next few minutes,I'll put my good ol' cape and detachable metal fangs aside,if only to update you on how the non-hero part of my life's been going.

Late last night as I was looking out the window,reflecting the years that have past and contemplating the future and it's depressing lack of clarity-three knocks on my door roused me to awareness,pulling me back to reality.I opened the door,and there was On-with his right finger in the air and an eerie,but amusing grin on his face:"Al,I have a plan",he says with a glowing air of confidence,and for a moment I imagine us being refugee secret agents,on the run after some of our corrupted top-level executives had fake clues planted in order to frame us for the murder of an important government official.

"Shh,you idiot!We're being hunted down remember?Code names!",I whisper harshly,brushing my fake moustache off and ushering him in before checking the corridors as a safety measure.I rush to the windows to pull them down,but before I could reach them my mobile phone rings-both of us startled,eyes still as the phone screen blinked blight red.

On looks to me,his fingers nervously curl into fists-"Who knows we're here?"-my mind immediately dives into motion,trying to recall if I had accidentally handed out dangerous information to anyone during the past few days we've been on the run-information,that could possibly kill us if it landed in the wrong hands.

My thoughts reached a dead end,I was convinced I hadn't slipped-years of training under impossibly gruelling conditions shaped our survival skills and instincts,and accidents of any kind were rare and we were taught to be cautious,some going to bed with knives tucked under their pillows-fearing death in sleep,after morbid stories of such became widely spread during the early 90's,but the most formidable enemy for any agent would be his or her own callousness-blunders costs lives,second chances were non-existent.

"I haven't been in contact with anyone,have you?",I replied.Just then a flight of bullets broke through the window noisily,hitting the walls as both of us fell to the floor. I ducked behind the sofa next to me,in doing so one of the window's many broken pieces pierced thinly into my left arm-oddly it felt painless,another sensation was taking over me.The feeling of something hot and soft flowing over my face,a wetness I found both excruciating and comforting.

"You've been hit!",a strange but vaguely familiar voice rose above the calamity,approaching from outside were the thunderous sounds of a helicopter.Disorientated and losing touch of my surroundings,my body felt weak and my fingers felt powerless-twitching even as I tried to keep them still.

"Al?Here's my new plan-we break the lease in two months,then find new tena....",my hand to the door fell lightly,and even as he trailed on a certain numbness took over and slowly settling in was the feeling of utmost paranoia,then release,and finally a strange numbness and quiet.

Pistol of Fire

Do you feel that gentle tingling in your chest?What about that moist feeling between your toes?Pee in your poop,poop in your pee?Your body's acting strange,the weather turning unpredictable and life's more closely resembling a roller coaster?All the indisputable signs are emerging,and it's time to take action-it's time for a Random List!

1. Finally got tickets to The Cure concert in August!Few months ago on a sleepless night I made a list of things I wanted to do before I die-big things,small things,nonsensical things.I remember the list being long,and I only remembered about it a few days later when it had miraculously disappeared-but I remember,somewhere after no. 30,was To see 'lovesong' by The Cure played live.I'm a sucker for 80's poprock music,and to finally see the band play live will definitely be an unforgettable experience.Sure beats no. 20 something-to buy Perlis and turn it into Disneyland.Shh,don't tell the government.But you can tell Badawi though,he doesn't scare me much.

7. Planning to move out soon,into a two-bedroom apartment with neighbour On.The best thing is,my unit's up for rent!Spread the word-single studio at College Sq Lygon,lease from Sept 07-Feb 08.Email:alzqn@hotmail.com.Will be posting up ads tomorrow,hopefully I'll find a new tenant by the second week of August.Whoever finds me one receives a box of free donuts and a night out with me,and I'm sure at least one of those things entice you.Non-donut eaters may request other things,of course.

14. Made a new friend on the plane-this talkative,interesting girl who thought The Break-Up was a classic.I basically thought the movie was crap.We debated furiously about it,argued until a stewardess came and threatened to throw us off the plane if we didn't shut up,and I lost count of the number of times other passengers shhh-ed us.Nah,it wasn't nearly as dramatic as that.On the other hand,I had to turn around and give the dubious Indian girl kneeing me from behind the ultimate glare of death.Suck it up,Letchumy.

3. Kings of Leon.I can feel it invading my brain,dissecting cells and restructuring neurons.This heaven gives me migraine.

9. Every week,new appointments with course advisers are available at 4pm on Thursday.So I'm waiting anxiously this very moment,counting down the minutes because those things run out real quick-like how people queue up early to buy PS3's,or limited edition sneakers,or new Potter books,or high-return ASB investments.

10. Deathly Hallows out this Sat-meanwhile,folks over at Cracked have this hilarious,but also informative article titled '6 Questions the last Harry Potter Book better fucking answer'.No spoilers,only speculations.My fave would be their guess on whether Dumbledore's actually dead:Dumbledore's dead, but still around via the talking portrait. Harry will consult it for advice throughout the concluding novel, and at a critical juncture, remove it from the wall of the headmaster's office, using it to club Draco in the back of the head before dryly stating "The head-master's office hours are over, bitch."

2. Must-watch vid of the week:Patrick Stewart (who plays Prof. X in the X-Men movies) on Extras (link).It's crazy how obsessed he is about seeing girls nude,cracks me up every time he goes "and their/her clothes fall off".Oh,and the one with Danielle Radcliffe's the best one i've seen so far,while Orlando Bloom's ep's where he rattles on about how people ignore Johnny Depp is good too-"Willy Wonka?Johnny Wanker"

Yes,I know the numbers are wrong.Things are feeling a bit surreal now,and the disorder helps.

Soma

Will be taking off within a couple of hours.As usual,during this period of insufferable waiting feelings are intensified and anxieties are heightened-Have I properly wished goodbye to everyone I should?Have I missed packing something?And many other questions that continually badger my head and refuses to stop until I land in Melbourne-travelling to Melbourne for uni is still something new to me,something that still feels weird everytime I have to experience it-there's still that tiny voice in my head telling me something enormous will go wrong,that feeling under my skin telling me the whole plan's merely a tall house of toothpicks-waiting to crash at any given moment.

Which is why I've prepared the necessary distractions.Plenty of new music downloaded and uploaded onto the Ipod for me to enjoy and put on anytime during the ordeal.A couple of old mags to keep me glued to something.And a novel to entice me,and the fact that beyond this point there shall be no more talk about this crap.

Does anyone remember what the hell a Hocrux is?Well,if you do that's amazing-because I had to wiki it.It's slowly dawning on me the gravity of the final Potter book coming out this Saturday,how,with every book,there are few reminders that come with the book about the year I read it in-mostly memories about school,where and when I read them and all.And now,finally this book's arriving and after this there will be no more left of the trail to follow.Hurm,not that bad really.It'll be cool if the whole Hogwarts exploded,or if Hermione turned out to be a lesbian.

Kim: My dad's only worried about you cos' he thinks boys are only out to get into my pants.
Turtle: What? You're wearing a skirt.

Entourage is no longer interesting-with Season 3,they've lost that punch and energy they had in the second season.I'm already sick of seeing Vince & Co do something rashly then regret later-it happens all the time,and they never seem to learn.Plus all the characters were once interesting,but they've hardly changed from Season 1-like E & Ari,who were both charming and entertaining in their individual ways-but after a while you realise their habits like E's constant nagging,and you just get sick of it real quick.

I have no idea why there's all this empty space above.Anyhu,simpsonize yourself here.Via PopCandy.

Having mixed feelings about the new timetable for the upcoming sem.One-class Mondays are not my thing,neither are long Tuesdays.And empty hours between classes will just be idle and useless for me,so we'll have to do something about that.The system they've created for students to book appointments with course advisers is really impressive and easy to use-I might just do it every sem just for the heck of it.

Time to finalise packing,time to leave home again.

Shut your eyes,Cover your ears,Call the Cops

The most shiteous thing you'll see all week.Get your barf bag ready.

Aneurysm

I think I've been blogging a bit too often-honestly I don't want to be another xiaxue who makes a "career" out of blogging,because I think it's downright pathetic and sleazy.But it's a free world,we can all do all these silly petty things that pale in comparison to true crimes and the world won't change a single bit.Plus,writing here activates my brain-it makes me think,and instead of passively surrendering to the tv or lying down thinking about all sorts of depressing stuff-I come here and make it a point to feel optimistic,and it gives me the opportunity to unload all the crap that would otherwise be lingering in the darker corners of my mind,inspiring conversation within self and leading to psychopathy and all that shit.

Let's do this,bitches.And yes,it's necessary for me to make something this trivial sound excessively dramatic-because how else will I make it in Hollywood?No,not as an actor-I have the acting talent equivalent of an infant.But as something else.A flamingo or something.Or a giraffe.If I ever get reborn as an animal I would want to be a giraffe-they're incredibly beautiful and graceful,even at that height and size.

Went to a Borders at Times Sq this evening,grabbed a couple of books on photography.I really want to start somewhere,god knows how long I've been talking about taking up photography.I hardly know how to use the point-and-shoot digi cam,but those dumb things are lousy inventions and I'm more interested in knowing how to use a serious camera (that's what the book calls it,a bit pretentious but whatever man).I'm starting with this book,which gives detailed but straightforward explanations for basic things and includes useful tips on various topics you'll need to know.I feel that I need to pick up more hobbies and accumulate more skills,because the effort and journey I take into learning these things help me express myself better as a person plus I want to be able to do something else aside from being able to read and write and recite random poems in the middle of lunch.

I need to occupy my time with useful things,things that keep me alive and going.Reading helps,especially with books like the one I'm currently reading-Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections,it's the kind of book I can't read with music playing or while I'm distracted because the language and flow requires that I sit down and focus on what's going on,every bit and detail of every moment is rich and filled with things worth noting for and the story so far has been incredibly satisfying,though the way it nonchalantly skips from one character's story to the other so frequently can be slightly frustrating.Then there's music-again,I've been downloading a shitload of albums particularly stuff from the 60's-90's.Nirvana,Foo Fighters,The Who,Liz Phair,Hendrix,The Cure-there's something really appealing and emotional about that raw,unpolished sound they produced back then.Plus nowadays a lot of songs try to convey messages and meanings with long and elaborate lyrics,when really some of the best songs like Nirvana's Lithium manage to mean and represent so much with a simple string of YEAAHHHs in their chorus alone.Emotion need not a high vocab.

Dave Dee,Dozy,Beaky,Mike & Tich-Hold Tight

Chances that any of you will watch Death Proof are slim,a shame because the moment the song above comes on in one of the film's pivotal scenes is simply heart pounding.Great song,used in the best way possible in a scene-it sounds easy to pair a song and scene together,but rarely does the end result achieve perfection.On the top of my head,two other times it did was in-(1) Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs' ear-cutting scene with Stuck In The Middle played and (2) Dropkick Murphy's I'm Shipping Up to Boston played in a scene in Scorsese's The Departed.

Ah,rambling done.The world is at peace once again.Or is that the sound of a girl screaming for help out there?Nah,can't be.Stupid kids,can't they dive into the pool without sounding like they're in danger?Or maybe they enjoy the sense of danger from these kind of things.They imagine diving into a pool of knives when they do it,feeling all heroic and superhuman.Now I feel like taking a swim.

But i'll rewatch this video of some idiot going around massaging people with a dildo instead.

Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix

Like many of you,I've followed the Potter franchise through every book and film it has spit out-and with every new installment comes a wave of anticipation and excitement,particularly bigger this time around since the last film set the bar pretty high.

I'll start off with the good stuff,then work my way down.Imelda Staunton as Dolores Umbridge,she plays the part perfectly and hits all the right notes-aside from Potter himself,the other main characters weren't given much attention and as a result constantly appeared dull and uninteresting,Umbridge however was simply a joy to watch,and they certainly managed her character nicely.The special effects were not too shabby,all the wand-waving and so on isn't something we haven't seen in the previous Potter films-the high point when Dumbledore battles Voldermort is executed magnificently (and I found it the most memorable part of the film),and they certainly took the SE opportunities the part of the story handed them.

The biggest problem with the film was its jarring inconsistency-for a large portion of the film,the mood continually alternates from good to bad,the lighter,less serious scenes would constantly interrupt whatever sense of suspense or tension that was being developed-and overall the story felt slightly indecisive,consequently the heavier scenes were undermined and the build-up to the climax was significantly stunted.

The script felt like it was guided by a checklist at times,responsibly including parts of the book that mattered most (without overstuffing),and while this effort is commendable,they could've given more time for certain important parts to completely develop and be part of the story,instead of simply adding to it.Terms like 'Order of The Phoenix' and 'The Prophecy' are introduced impatiently then given skimpy explanations,after which they're repeatedly mentioned and used as a character's motivation.

Compared to previous installments,there's little room given for subplots and the film is largely dedicated to Potter-as result there are only a handful of scenes without him,and sadly Daniel Radcliffe is incapable of carrying such weight on his shoulders.His acting chops haven't improved much,he seems awkward in the role and has a lot of trouble emoting-even a simple smile looks unconvincing,a lot of overacting when he's supposed to look frightened/threatened, and personally I found that Radcliffe's poor acting did a lot of damage to this film.Even with music and special effects attempting to convey a certain scene's darkness,Radcliffe's acting still comes off as distracting and makes the whole thing look plain fatuous.

The characters we've grown to know and love-Potter's two main compatriots,Dumbledore,Trelawney are provided little screen time and simply blend in with the rest of the supporting cast.Even Hagrid appears less than thrice,a shame considering how far previous films had gone to make his character (and few others) likable and essential to Potter's life.

HP&TOOTP is an enjoyable but forgettable follow-up to the last installment,though the ending effectively sets up a solid platform for the next film-establishing a sense of continuity and hopefulness that tells us it's not the end,and however unsatisfying this Potter film may be,the journey's still incomplete and there's more to go on for.

Kyoto Song

Nothing much to say today.Tried to find a picture that was opaque and open,one that would convey my current mood.Serene,weightless and free.I've been on a downloading craze,making sure that I take advantage of the internet here at home before having to return back to Melbourne where the internet speed and cost is a whole different story.

Interpol-Pioneer To The Falls
White Stripes-300 MPH Torrential Outpour Blues
Jesus & Mary Chain-Far Gone and Out
Kasabian-Shoot The Runner
Sonic Youth-Teenage Riot

A few random notes.Most of Tilly & The Wall stuff sound wonderfully eccentric but calm,oddly enough there's always a sense that the song's made for an artsy/indie flick.The Thermals sound too much like Placebo,but like with everything else inimitable any effort in mirroring sounds only results in pure garbage-okay I haven't heard all their songs,but I've heard enough to conclude that they're not doing much else than trying to do Placebo.I appreciate bands like Battles and Klaxons much more,who've taken an initiative to produce a fresh,distinctive sound and avoid simply reinventing stuff.

I highly recommend the new Beastie Boys album (The Mix-Up),it's great chill out music or simply the kind of music you'd play when you need to relax for few minutes without having to worry about dozing off.Spoon's Ga Ga Ga is amusingly sweet and melancholy,this time around they've found a neat way to pair the slightly harsher vocals with light sounds-resulting in a solid album that perfects the classic light rock sound.

Worst film I've seen this week: Stranger Than Fiction.As grossly overrated as Shortbus or Volver was.The one easy joke about Ferrell freaking out from the narrating voice is repeated to the nth degree,and the humour is just painfully flat and fails to entertain.The cast is largely underused-Queen Latifah,Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson play very conventional roles and do very little with their character.The relationship between Ferrell and Gyllenhaal supposedly improves with help from awkward situations and quirky conversations,but it just looks ridiculous and feels completely superficial.I couldn't stand the film any longer after holding on for an hour,at which point I had to press STOP.I can't be bothered about how it ends.

From Entourage.

Eric: Are you ever going to stop lying,Ari?
Ari: I tell parts of the truth.

...

Ari: Got MILF?

Mint Car

So,it was my dad,mum and myself in our small Getz in TTDI,my dad and I were arguing about whether turning right was right.I was saying he shouldn't,because all the cars were parked in one direction and so I pointed out that it should be a one-way street.My dad just brushed it off with a slight AAAH,and was preparing to turn right when...BAM!The green Fiat next to us,also attempting to exit from the Mobil station into the small street,had done so prematurely without first looking properly and had hit an incoming car that was headed right.It all happened in small motion-few seconds stretched into minutes,as both were at first completely still with only my eyes moving violently left and right,anticipating a disaster.Then the Fiat flew forward really fast and the sound of crashing glass as both cars collided broke the quiet.Both my parents gasped in surprise,but wasting no time I turned to my dad and gave him an 'I told you so' look.Then he carefully reversed the car,and took a left turn.

A few foodie pics from the Singapore trip.

An interesting piece from the conversation I had with Jules today.

Jules: I have a new answer,to help me forget him.

Al: What is it?
Jules: Transformers!

Al: Ha,you mabuk ka?

Jules: No la,it's that cutie from the movie lah!

Al: Oh,Shia La Boof kar?

Jules: It's La Buff.

Crazy Jules,I spent the whole lunchtime laughing like a retard until dessert came oozing out my nose.

On our way back from Singapore,we stopped by Muar to buy some dvds-the stores there have secret doors built,only accessible with secret,rhythmic knocks known only by store employees.I'm guessing they're working their way around warrant issues,and avoiding getting arrested basically by hiding all the stuff they sell from being seen openly in public.

Entourage proves to be a really great show (thanks Syaza),and the second season quickly corrects all the mistakes the first season had.Adrien G no longer stutters his lines and has since learned to vary his facial expressions from the one dumb crackface he had stuck on Season 1,and the best part is that Jeremy Piven's (far left in the pic) given more screentime and his egomaniacal,overconfident character has been given more expanding,as a result becoming the most interesting character in the show.Entourage is almost like Sex and The City for guys,except it's not nearly as unwatchable or repetitive with the plot.Plus at one point,you get to see Jamie Pressley in her bra-definitely beats watching GILF (not girl,grandma) Kim Catrall give out a fake orgasm and jiggle her sagged boobs for the 5000th time.

Disintegration

Infatuation is a dumb thing,which is why I have to get it out of my system immediately.

Because you might be freaking gorgeous,but we have little in common and I'm sure the chemistry we had was just the effect of too much flirting.You're mature and you can carry a proper adult conversation,but you know when to let loose and just be free.But I hate your friends,they annoy the hell out of me and everytime I think of asking you out I fear that they'll come along and eat my brains out.

Let's not over analyze something this trivial and silly.

Honestly,I don't get this.This thing about relationships and people and connections and love and all that stuff you know-it looks clear and sounds easy on paper,but once you get into the mechanics and actually step into reality,the noises of smooching and groaning are somehow shadowed by the sound of your heart beating nervously.At least I have a heart,unlike the many robots out there who simply be-zeep their way through.

Plus,you have a boyfriend,who looks like your little brother.But he has blond(ish) hair,and everyone knows only male pornstars have blond(ish) hair.Although,I don't think the fact that you two are a couple means anything or much of something,because from what I've seen you guys have zero chemistry.But maybe he has a monstrously huge dick or something like that,which compensates for his lack of personality.Okay I lied,I don't even know what he looks like but I don't like him already.Whatever it is,I continually hope that you'll break up with him soon-just because.Was there supposed to be a reason included-nah,this is pointless ranting,reason's the last thing I need!

There you go,now I've convinced myself that you're no better than that Friendster bulletin board serial rapist who endlessly fills in surveys,never failing to share some personal unwanted info about her last orgy or the last time she blew someone's cock in a restroom.If you're that girl,I want you to know you're pathetic.I'm too nice a guy to tell it to your face.What am I saying.What am I.

What girl?

Fascination Street

Any mention of anything to do with LOST is guaranteed to get my attention.If I haven't banged all of you in the heads about how great the show is already,here's a reminder-the show's great as fuck.

Anyhu,if you regularly surf gossip or pop culture blogs you would've definitely heard about Cloverfield.Briefly,it's a trailer shown before Transformers in America-it basically shows two scenes.First,a party.Second,something interrupts the party-there's chaos outside,and the Statue of Liberty's head is seen rolling on a road.More info on it here,and i'm sure we'll receive updates about it soon.The words Produced by J.J. Abrams (Lost co-creator) appears.

The trailer was taken down from YouTube by studio execs,but here's a grainy version on it on WWTDD.The one-page official website here specifies the film's release date,and provides two blurry pics.From the trailer,you'd see that it's filmed the way Blair Witch was (that film got me shit scared,who cares if it was fake) and something Godzilla-ish is involved.

All this would give us Losties something to occupy ourselves with until the new season arrives early Feb 2008.This is random,but the new Topshop line for guys is so crazily gay and gaudy,it looks like a pink elephant exploded in there.Blue-rimmed glasses,purple skinny jeans,pink polka-dot sweaters-they might as well sell us laced panties and eyeliner already.

Another Brick In The Wall

First up,Azuin here's the Simpson avatar I promised you-I know,it looks terrific.I should really start painting or some shit like that.This is the stench of sarcasm stinking up the air,for anyone too daft to sense it.For the record,I don't really hate Kirsten Dunst-but Azuin threatens to puke everytime she comes on tv.


Been in Singapore for three days now,it's been terrific-visited heaps of places,the highlights were Little India & Chinatown (thanks Clarice!),Lau Pa Sat and Sentosa.Practically all of you have been to Singapore,so I don't want to bore you to death with details.Some pics for your viewing pleasure.

My 5mpg Sony camera gives really shitty pictures,but I wouldn't know how to use a professional camera even if I had one,so this will do until I get myself educated in that area.

I'm gonna go ahead and change the topic as I please.Term 1 results came out today-I'm sure there are some hardcore geeks out there threatening suicide from not achieving their H1's,but I'm just happy to pass and be able to hop on to next sem without having to repeat any subjects.I know Unimelb is where people go to groom themselves to become future leaders and all that,which is why sometimes I feel I've got myself in a tough place-but I know that I'll make it through this part of my life,through one way or another.

But I don't want to just survive.Some people just read and study all the time,getting grades and feeling happy with themselves for it-I believe education goes beyond that,and I'd hate myself if I ever graduate uni with a bunch of good grades but nothing much else.I want to learn to speak out and be courageous,I want to be able to look the world in it's face and be brave enough to have a strong opinion and be able to articulate it intellectually,I want to experience pain and joy and grow from it,I want to learn how to become a real person.

But I don't want to end up living on welfare and uneducated either,so I'll do what I have to without compromising the lot.

There's a part in Freaks & Geeks,when Lindsay gets high on pot for the first time and,seeing a dog asleep,she starts rattling on about how she thinks life is actually in the dog's mind and how everything will be wiped out of existence once the dog wakes up.

Millie: Lindsay,life is not that dog's dream!

Wise words,Millie.

Death Proof

This is a movie you can't NOT watch.Unless you're one to shy from a bit of OTT violence or you simply loathe the typical way Tarantino writes dialogues,this is a wildly exhilarating ride you must not miss.

I walked out of the cinema surprisingly feeling satisfied and absolutely blown-away,as I had previously assumed that after his earlier films-Reservoir Dogs,Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill in particular,that Tarantino had somehow past his peak and would probably continue to make films that would be entertaining,but not come close to surpassing the impossibly high standards his earlier films had set),but I was completely and utterly wrong.Arguably,Death Proof is Tarantino's best work yet.

A lot of juicy,raw and exciting stuff in the film,and I'll spoil a bit for you-skip it if you don't want to know em'.Rose McGowan,who I find unbearable in whatever role she's playing (this time around the character's a sultry dumb blond,so it's doubly annoying) ends up getting her head smashed many times on a car's dashboard.She giggles.She bleeds.She starts pleading for her life.It's all incredibly satisfying.Vanessa Ferlito (some chick from CSI NY) does something hotter than sex itself,remarkably without getting her clothes off-you have to see it to believe it.There are plenty of references to Tarantino's earlier films,Kill Bill alone has 5 or 6.The final car chase scene will BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT OF THEIR SKULLS.

If you love Tarantino's work as much as I do,if you're just obsessed and amazed about how awesomely intelligent and cool his earlier films were-Death Proof is essential viewing,and you'll leave fulfilled.If you're not too keen about Tarantino,there's a good chance you'll enjoy it but maybe not as much as you would if you were Tarantino-crazed:in the theatre I was in,there were no more than 15 people (it was really empty),but at the end of the film people cheered loudly,clapped and walked out looking like they all had just boned Kate Beckinsale.

To say that it's my new alltime fave film might be a bit of a stretch,because it took years of repeated viewings for me to fully appreciate Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind and truly love it inside out (to the point where I wouldn't want to change a single thing about the movie)-but I've no doubt that despite the year still far from ending,Death Proof stands strong as my fave 2007 film.

Travellin' Thru

I've been incommunicado for the past three days-my parents and I headed off to Tanjung Bidara in Melaka for a cousin's wedding,where the reception is poor and internet connection's a faraway dream.Nonetheless I had tons of fun despite the sweltering heat,watching children run amok while the adults run here and there trying to ensure everything's in place for the wedding.

Ant by the window.Word.

I'll be going off to Singapore for a 5-day family trip-recent trips to Singapore have been dull because we've been visiting the same places and eateries,so this time around I've decided to thoroughly plan the trip beforehand.As usual,Google would be my first tool-and a bit of googling directed me to Yahoo Travel,a nifty site with an abundance of useful travelling resources,providing more than enough info for anyone to plan a trip to almost anywhere.They've provided a Trip Planner tool-with which you can create your own travel schedule by choosing destinations based on how other users enjoyed them,as every tourist spot comes with an average rating (out of 5 stars) and has also been categorised (i.e: Children,Tourist Attractions,Museums & Galleries) for convenience.You can also see the Trip Plans other users had/have made,there are many to choose from and they range from long (more than a week) to short holidays-so you could model your own Trip Plan based on the others that have followed a similar time frame.

The only possible downside is that the site provides little info on how to get to the destinations,and how much they would cost (or if they have an entrance fee).And some of the less famous tourist attractions don't have pictures (i.e.:Bishan New Town,Singapore)-a small issue,but I can't let that pass.Plus there's not a single mention of the Great Singapore Sale (link to official site) on Yahoo Travel,which I find a bit peculiar since it's obviously a major tourist magnet.A search of Esplanade ,Marina Bay or Underwaterworld yields no result,which is also weird (but for items not listed,you can Create them and add them to your existing Trip Plan).But you can usually find out more about those things from the hotel concierge or visit/call the country's tourism centre.Moreover,aside from the lengthy,informative descriptions you get for every destination advertised on the site,they also provide contact information for those places so you call them directly and find out all you need.

Anyone going to Singapore anytime soon should also check out the Great Singapore Sale site,where you can find exclusive sale offers (i.e: 20% off Guess Watches and Ipod Nano's,additional 5% off Topshop items).

Pic from the same site:
Fish Reflexology (at Underwaterworld Singapore)

My initial thought was "Wow,what an interesting activity!To get small fish massage on your feet!I must do this!".After a while I started thinking about it more,and found something fishy (I know,lamest pun ever)-how cruel it'd be to have helpless little fish massage on smelly human feet for money,and how they even do it-do they paste fish food all over your feet so the small fish come biting harmlessly with their cute tiny jaws?When it finally hit me-they probably don't use fish at all,and the picture's just to mislead idiots like me into believing so.So they put up a normal massage parlor at Underwaterworld,and advertise with that pic of fish massaging your feet,although the two couldn't be any more unrelated (aside from the small,indisputable fact that the massage parlor is located in Underwaterworld) .Smart.

Three weeks till' Uni opens,make the best out of every minute people!