Children

From a forwarded email...

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'. The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?' The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?' Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.' The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.' Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

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So today on a tram I saw a baby the size of my torso,which is...actually kinda huge-so lets go with arm instead.A baby the size of my arm,probably even not a week old.It was so cute-strapped onto her dad's chest and just cooing there,making bubbles in her mouth and pointing at people with her tiny,tiny fingers-,I had half the mind to steal it but then I remembered that babies soil themselves and scream like bitches,aside from being impossibly cute.Also,stealing babies is a bit strange and the strap thing looked pretty solid and what the hell would I do with a damn baby anyway?Store it in the fridge during classes?So....another triumphant day for logic.