Our shoulders brush from behind,I sense something that is inwardly familiar.

I turn around casually,feeling nervous for some reason until I see you and our faces are close to touch.He stumbles back awkwardly,I quickly break the ice with some vapid comment about his belt of all things.Years apart,friends caught by chance-we were so close at one point in time,for a brief period of no more than three months after which our relationship faded into everything else,lost its appeal and both of us begun to drift to our own silent corners,waiting for the next new thing to come along.

Its a pity to lose something that meant so much,but things change and you can't hope to stay the same person.Triggers pulled back,shots fired-the fastness of everything is something I didn't see until it had all passed,not all the things we lost to speed were worth fighting back for.

That feeling as growing teens-that freedom we felt from our naivety,that monstrous curiosity for the things they forbid us from-all the charm and wickedness of who we were.Could we break control once again and assume the identities of anyone we desired-to shed the skins we carried,leave our fate to the wilderness to decide?

So we exchanged numbers,promised to meet up someday.I'm sure sooner or later,I'd be bored enough to call for it-and we'll spend some time catching up talking about things neither of us felt were interesting.To have this distance,this great,unbreakable barrier time had built for us (for our own good,we'd think) was another phase of life,we'd get past this on our own and leave the memories to their quiet graves.

I think: I'll be someone else in a few years,and all of which I have now-most of it would've been tossed aside,I eventually become a foreigner to every place I visit and a stranger to the people I meet.And some tiny part of it feels like an adventure,for every once in a while I feel a small bit of the freedom we once had-like all the changes,they're all returning me to a good spot.A homecoming of sorts,two men cheering at the sky-beckoning the new year to come,take them back to somewhere full of hope.



Miss Aida said...

For some reason this post is much too painful for me to read, maybe because I relate.

And I don't want to. :)

I want to believe in friends forever. But I suppose that's not always the case.

Al said...

losing hurts for a while,then you get on,humph.