i peed a gallon when i saw this poster

1. Got locked out of the house a night ago,the always absent security people made a short appearance by the foyer and proved unhelpful,though they did mention that hiring a locksmith would cost about $200.I think I'll put that down as my second career option now."So Al,what do you work as?"."I open doors"."Wow,amazing."."I didn't go to university for nothing,you know."Thankfully,I was rescued by fellow Hobo Adopter R who lent me space to sleep and Peter Alexander pyjama pants.Super comfy,best thing since pantlessness.

2. Masterchef goes to Hong Kong! I don't like Sam,he has a weirdly-shaped head.CHRIS 4EVA.I'm going to get that tattooed somewhere naughty.

3. I miss my cat Hiro.I hope he lives long enough to see me get rich enough to buy him a mansion of his own,all the masculine cat accesories money can afford (spike collar,tiny leather boots and a viking hat).He's not much of a talker,or one to purr and cuddle but I know when I see him,after nearly 6 months-there'll be that glimmer of recognition in his eyes.Twinkle,twinkle,magic superstar.

4. You can't see my eyes,and the waves are just a frothier version of the skies

poster (prob fanmade) via firstshowing

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