1. The whole family took a trip to Mornington,for lunch we stopped by this cafe which only served organic stuff.Organic quiche,salads and other stuff I think only really old people tend to love and recommend.I had this fantastic organic pie where I play bridge on Fridays with my posse of wealthy widows,it had lovely potato-type things and my God,it even tasted healthy.See,old person talk.Anyway,we were hungry and I would've eaten anything at that point.Our whole family,what with the baby and being tired and our sweaters and cameras,were being quite rowdy and we ordered several things,asked for extra sauce and plates and stuff like that and this woman who owned the cafe,when I asked for extra plates and some sauce,shook her head and stared at my family like we were savages.Like we just literally walked out the jungle,clubbed some pedestrians and stole their clothes and marched into this damn tiny pretentious cafe all for their fucking quiche.Anyway,I'm inclined to believe that this woman,with her rathouse hair and sagging tits,was racist.I had half the mind to walk up to her and say something like "My father,FYI,is rich enough to buy this petty roadside stall of yours 12 times over" then throw a whole giant wad of cash right in her face.Or a heavy bag of really small coins,though that sounds like overkill.Of course somewhere in there,I'd insinuate that she was racist-you can never straight out make the call,you'd have to inch your way in and poke them with a cattle prod from behind and aggrevate them a bit until they drive themselves insane.Anyway,I didn't and I can only say or do those kind of things in some alternate fantasy world.Hours later at Chadstone,at the Apple store where we wanted to buy stuff including new earphones the store helper basically just handed me a new pair,said "they're free,but keep it in your pocket".Those Ipod earphones used to cost a ton,but maybe they've been superceded by some new,powerful earphones and these old kinds I still think are the best and most reliable earphones,are now so dumb and shameful they give it away for free nowdays.Or,it could be good karma.You know,from not attacking Grandma Racist with (her exact words:) "excuse me,that's not a rubbish bin,its an antique sugar pot I bought in an auction" THAT DAMN UGLY THRASHCAN WITH ROTTEN CHEWING GUM IN IT.Delusional fucking bathead,she probably paid $400 for that piece of shit.

What goes around,always comes around.


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