Pandora's Box

According to Greek mythology, the first woman was created by Zeus as part of the punishment of mankind for Prometheus' theft of fire.Pandora came as a poisioned gift for man,she carried with her several gifts received from different Gods,the most significant of these many gifts being a small box,which was never to be opened for it contained all the misfortunes of the world-but women,being the curious creatures they are-Pandora broke the rule and opened the box,releasing despair,crime,sorrow and all things evil into the world.


Askmen.com released their list of this year's 99 most desirable women,so this is where i enter with my share of protests,disagreements and what-the-fuck's.Firstly,there were more hits than misses-noone can complain about Elisha Cuthbert, Eva Longoria (here's a link to her must-see Maxim foldout), Gissele Bundchen,Uma Thurman and several other gorgeous A-listers being there,but i'm sure plenty of people have something to say about Roselyn Sanchez,Alyson Hannigan,Mandy Moore,or Haifa Wehbe being there.Surprisingly,for some daredevils who in the past year have experienced or undertaken the unimaginable,it only adds to their sex appeal-Natalie Portman made the top10 even after shaving off all her hair for V for Vendetta,Kylie Minogue still deemed sexy despite losing all her hair to cancer,and Angelina Jolie still growing even more sexier by the minute despite carrying an increasing number of burdens (UN,paparazzi terror,recent birth) is exactly why the citizens of Hollyweird seem so unreal.Furthermore,i got to know interesting facts about these girls-didya' know Jessica Simpson produced a line of edible make-up,Jennifer Aniston's success is largely due to her permanently-erect nipples and both Charlize Theron and Halle Berry were models before they became Oscar-winning actors?


And Jessica Alba is once again the most desirable woman in the world-and i really can't disagree,considering she's like,the friggin' sex holy grail for all men.She did justice to herself by first leaving that horrible show noone watched,Dark Angel,in which she played a lesbianish dominatrix whose main compatriots were a handicapped fucktard and a mutated dogman,then slowly established herself as a sex icon (replacing the beautiful Bai Ling) by starring in major blockbusters such as Never Been Kissed,Honey,Sin City,Blue Crush,Into the Blue-the latter three in which she was either a whip-bearing stripper or wearing a bikini all the time. She was the only thing which kept Unfantastic Four watchable and will soon be seen alongside Angelina Jolie and Samuel L. Jackson in the sequel to Frank Miller's Sin City.


Its shocking to see the flat-chested Kiera Knightley being acknowledged as sexy,when all i see are skin and bones-but thankfully Nicole Richie,the universal ambassador for anorexia and life-threatening skinniness was excluded-but i wonder what happened to Milla Jovonich,Kristin Cavallari,Victoria Beckham,Famke Jenssen-surely they're sexy enough for a mediocre list which has the less-than-average pedestrian-faced Bryce Dallas Howard in it?Oh,and yes that's Carmen Electra-all the pics of Kiera Knightley i found were possibly vommit-inducing,in both the ugly-twig and bullimia-inspiring kinda way.

After Pandora did all those naughty things,she was spanked nicely in the ass but few days later she opened the box again (they never learn!),at which point Hope fluttered out-and this is partly the reason,that there is always hope in times of evil.

Oh and i was kidding about Bai Ling.Obviously.Or not.Whatever.