14.9.06

Nightmares

Been having these awfully freakish nightmares for the past few nights-where,unlike other dreams,i wake up perfectly aware of them (usually i only recall them by accident hours later) and the feeling of dread and despair lingers around for a few minutes before i realise the nightmare isn't real.Yesterday's was the goriest by far,but before i talk about that i should mention the fact that separates these nightmares i've been having from the normal,common subconcious adventures i usually have:they play around what has or could've been real events,and real people,family members are often involved and they pry on my darkest fears,there is always a feeling of helplessness and woe,and i can't forget them as much as i want to.Getting back to last night,it was one horrible nightmare where i woke up back in Malaysia following a scream i heard downstairs,which upon inspection,turned out to be one of my uncle's (no idea what he was doing there,shouldv'e been back in Kelantan) and suddenly i lost control of my body and before i knew what i was doing,my hands were covered in blood and i was standing above what seemed like my uncle's headless body whose intestines where all over the place with the blood quickly streaming across all areas of the room.I honestly have no clue to why or how these horrible nightmares find their way to my head,and why they've been occuring-but then again considering half the things in my life are unexplained and depend on my trust towards blind faith and unknowing,maybe its not so bizzare after all.

Went to the Chadstone One-day Spring Sale with some friends yesterday,most of my time was not spent browsing clothes but thinking,wondering and pondering over random thoughts as i repeatedly went around the many racks of pretty items yesterday:ended up buying some stuff from Dangerfield and Mooks,where,somewhere between checking out flip-flops and mindlessly trying on jumpers i found inspiration for what will be my first horror film.Seeing the myriad of shoppers going in and out of stores thoughtlessly,the idea of fear thrives and feeds on the absence of suspicion,or expectation that anything can go wrong-people walk on defenselessly without any hint of upcoming danger,and when calamity finally strikes them off-guard,it is here the value of entertainment is heightened when we are most anxious to see their responses and how well they can manage to solve what is almost definitely an inevitable fate to die.At this point i pause from typing and look back at my first paragraph about eerie dreams,and somewhat find a vague connection that could possibly hint at repressed inner savagery or something.Erk.Anyways,the film,which will hopefully be made in 10 years or so (after completing my education,giving me plenty of time to improvise the ideas),and derives advocacy from the same concepts that made Saw,The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Silent Hill (more of the game than the flick,which i haven't/don't intend to watch) original and wildly entertaining.
Just dreams to keep my brain occupied,diverting me from the many sad,gloomy thoughts of the even darker thing called reality.

-Psst.Here's a compilation from retroCRUSH-20 best zombie flicks of all-time.Don't know about the old ones,the only one listed which i've actually watched is 28 Days Later-i swear to God this is one of the top 5 scariest films.And the short clip from Shaun of The Dead posted there is quite hilarious.

-And speaking of movie-related lists,here's one by EW of the 50 Best High School Movies.The Breakfast Club ranks in top,but i'm a little curious how Napoleon Dynamite,Harry Potter and The Karate Kid made the list.Since i think the movie's timeless and great,here's the final part of the movie's dialogue,which says it all.

Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...

Andrew Clark: ...and an athlete...
Allison Reynolds: ...and a basket case...
Claire Standish: ...a princess...
John Bender: ...and a criminal...
Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question?... Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.

Sidetracking-Following this article about Gnarles Barkley's awesome song Crazy being invaded,here's Nelly Furtado's acoustic take on the song.Beautiful.

We're given tags and labels everyday,we judge each other mercilessly perhaps in an attempt to find acceptance within our own conflicted selves,and to me all of this is sad,but what's even sadder is that it reflects all our hidden feelings-that we remain calm,composed and casual when inside nothing's close to being that way.

That's it for today folks,i'm off to the library to borrow some cd's for my music-dependant,non-existant soul.

2 comments:

Remus! said...

scary weii your dreams...buy me something before i come back kays!

annakin said...

i dreamt someone was hurting me wif knives


i just discovered the cd collectn at my local library too. its liberating. no need to feed those greedy retail chains.


a soul cant be one if its non-existant