29.6.07

Transformers


I've never been a fan of Transformers,but since the first trailer debuted couple months back I promised myself I would watch it.It comes out in Asia/Aus before anywhere else,so there haven't been any reviews to provide me anticipation of what the film would be like.Let's cut to the chase-Transformers was just really disappointing.The special effects were predictably impressive and the larger-than-life robots left me gawking in awe like a child-but once the amazement and fascination wears out,I start wanting more-unfortunately beyond the robot huha and grandiose CGI,the movie just has little else to offer.The biggest problem I had was with the script.Historically,one of the worst.Most of the lines/phrases are so ridiculously dumb and banal,it's not even a laughing matter.You just have to witness it for yourself,to truly experience the sheer nightmare that the script is.A couple of times one of the robots (usually Optimus Prime-is this misspelled?Who gives a damn) launches into some preachy monologue that's so cheesy,cheap and Hallmark-ish,I feel like ripping my gums out.Moreover,Megan Fox can't act for nuts,the whole way she was pouting with this bimbotic blank face like she was permanently stuck in a Revlon commercial.Shia LaBeouf fares a whole lot better,but once the focus shifts completely to the conflict between the two robot clans,Shia's character gradually phases out of significance and becomes ornamental (aside from having to run endlessly and protect the cube on which the fate of the planet rests on,but I can't hardly give a damn about).The final street battle scene starts off great,but quickly becomes unfocused and messy-it starts and ends repeatedly,to the point where it becomes anti-climactic and I'm just done with the damn thing.With the material,they had the potential to invent something imaginative,new and possibly groundbreaking,and it's obvious the special effects team worked their butts out to ensure things looked perfect on their part-but in the end,the mediocre,uninspired story and shit stain of a script brings the entire film down.1/5


*RT gives it a 100% rating (although I'm sure the figure will go down as more reviews come in).What a joke.

**I know noone gives a shit,and even IMDB doesn't acknowledge this-but there's a part in Transformers that plays homage to Jet Li/Kill Bill.When Bumble Bee changes from the old Chevrolet to the new one,which is yellow and has two black stripes in the middle (the same pattern on The Bride's suit in Kill Bill Vol. 1/Jet Li's old movies),the song that comes on is the song used in Kill Bill Vol. 1 when Oren Ishii and the Crazy 88 is first introduced at the House of Blue Leaves.

9 comments:

Bina007 said...

Hey, nice review! I was wondering if you'd like to republish it as part of my movie review blog. Naturally you'd be fully credited and there would be the usual link from the IMDB external review page. What do you reckon? IF yes, email me at mexalexandros@hotmail.com. If not, no worries. Have a nice weekend! Bina007

Al said...

This is huge for me.I'll get to the email now.

Remus! said...

Goodness god, i thought im the only person who hated transformers script!
Overall, i think its a bad movie too.

Al said...

lol rems I think plenty of people out there hated it,just not the target audience who'd be busy drooling about how 'cool' everything was to realise the flaws.

the lines about getting into a car were so random and out of touch with everything else i felt like throwing popcorn at the screen.one part,the good robots were talking to shia & megan & evtg's light and dandy,suddenly the camera cuts to megan who,out of the godamn blue,goes "WHY ARE YOU HERE"

RUBBISH!

s c h i e n said...

yes, i know it is a bit late but its always full since last week AND i am going to watch "1/5 TRANSFORMERS" tomoro soooo.....

I SHALL PRETEND I NEVER SEE THIS POST!
I SHALL PRETEND I NEVER SEE THIS POST!
I SHALL PRETEND I NEVER SEE THIS POST!
I SHALL PRETEND I NEVER SEE THIS POST!
I SHALL PRETEND I NEVER SEE THIS POST!
I SHALL PRETEND I NEVER SEE THIS POST!

sometimes it feel sooo good to be an annoying cheeky monkey!

Al said...

1/5 of transformers?how is that?

you love being an annoying cheeky monkey?join the club,fellow monkey.

s c h i e n said...

u gave transformers 1/5!
thats HOW!

Al said...

oh hahahaa.i thought u wanted to watch 1/5 of transformers then go shopping or smtg liddat.bwahaha.

next time talk in monkey language,i can understand much better!

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