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The entire family surrenders to chaos as their beloved father starts to die on the living room couch-they anxiously wait for the help to come,which is when the maid (Adibah Noor),restless,infruriated and prepared to kill anyone for an ambulance,calls up the hospital again.

Maid: Hoi,mana ambulance!Saya dah call berapa kali,ada orang nak mati sini!
Hospital: It's on the way,miss-tolong bersabar.
Maid:Awak tahu tak,kalau saya nak beranak tunggu ambulance, anak saya dah masuk darjah satu tau!

It was at this point i laughed uncontrollably (unintenionally snorting in the process),and considering that all the isle lights on the plane had been turned off and almost everyone had dozed off to slumber-it was perfectly understandable when the person across my left gave me this incredibly stern,stabbing look you'd give to a flasher,murderer or someone who had just told you you're entire world was based on an illusion you had created to cope with guilt*.In response to her cruel,angst-filled non-verbals,i laughed even more and proceeded to mock her stupid face.
*Links for LOST fans-is Dave part of Hurley's imagination,along with the island,and if so,how can it possibly be?

For months i was excited to see Yasmin Ahmad's Gubra,i even asked Ivana to send me a pirated version to Melbourne (which she didn't,humph say no to piracy campaign in your home lah pulak),but after i watched it i felt cheated,disappointed but most of all-i felt the movie had been given way too much hype,Yasmin Ahmad isn't all that and the movie was ultimately below-average and i had absolutely no idea why Singapore Times and a couple of local newspapers had raved so much about this badly-scripted,haphazardly-paced and hollow story(but chuck-full of kononya heartwrenching scenes,which to me looked like rejected extensions from one of Yasmin's Petronas hari raya ads). Perhaps i feel this way because Sepet was quite a gem and i felt Gubra would be comparable,if not better.Well,let's hope the next one scores.

Anyways,i'll postpone the movie review for later,now that i've come to contact with home soil many curious,exciting discoveries have caught me completely off-guard.
1.My,my,someone's been having some fun while i wasn't here!One of the three mischievous cats at home,Muffin,is pregnant!I can't wait for all the mini-muffins to come out!
2.Klang Valley,is unfortunately still Klang Valley in all its glory-hitz.fm still plays lame pop-ass music (first song i heard on local radio-Paris Bloody Hilton!Almost vommited on the dashboard),the rempits still reign supreme and as today's edition of star continues to talk about rudenss among Malaysians,i say we need more than a pathetic Budi Bahasa Budaya Kita campaign to create a long-lasting impact.
3.Inflation catches up pretty fast-the familiar cup of ice milo i had for breakfast at Raju had remained the same in price,but miserably shrunk to half the serving size.
4.As Proton was for the car industry,the mobile industry welcomes the birth of M-Mobile-Malaysia's attempt in creating phones,and Mawi's there too.

More fascinating news from around the world.Click on the links,they're so tempting.
1.Loneliness is a disease,and it's spreading at break-neck speed.
2.Fashionable and unconventionally-dressed girls,don't know what to do to entertain yourself while stuck in the bathroom?No,its not another convenient vibrator that comes with tons of weird orgasmic functions.
3.One of those old articles people will continue to read-by Dave Barry.
4.EW as listed the websites you should bookmark-with some really weird recommendations,like this one.

I'm officially obsessed with listing things.Some songs which have dominated my auto-replay playlist for quiet sometime.
Spoon-The Way We Get By
Tori Amos-Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana Cover)
Jem-Maybe I'm Amazed (Paul Mcartney Cover)
Ryan Adams-When the Stars Go Blue (Tim McGraw)
The White Stripes-Jolene (Dolly Parton Cover)
The YeahYeahYeah's-Y Control
The Rolling Stones-Drift Away

Returning to my seemingly mundane and uneventful life,i'm glad to be back and can't wait to see everyone to show off my fake-australian accent and non-existent forgetfulness of the bahasa melayu vocabulary.Apa kamu berkata?HAHAHA,don't worry people,i'm still me (a little handsomer and smarter i like to believe;) so as for today let's all take a chill pill and TRY our best to be nice to all those suckers with their kemek distorted faces behind runcit counters who try to shortchange us,the poyo teen hip-hoppers with their sungei wang bling blings in shopping malls who flaunt their bad attitude maladroitly thinking its something which compliments their faux personality,and ourselves,who although cursed with imperfection try to fix our flaws and even trying deserves some praise.

So give yourself a pat on the back,or better yet go to friggin' Sogo and get yourself a large medal for being so good.

Narcissism ain't a sin (i'm sure this is more or less Paris Hilton's life motto),like a heavily-sugared donut,its simply sweet indulgence which if taken occasionally wouldn't feed the ego,but bring a much needed boost to our self-esteem and confidence.Too much would make us diabetically-overstuffed with pride.

Umm.DONUTS.Forget Roti Canai & Teh Tarik,I'm heading to Dunkin right this instant.