Click HERE for Kings of Leon' new vid for Sex on Fire.
Thoughts about the video.
1. Too dark.
2. Flashes of Creed-like douchness.
3. We get that Caleb looks like Leo Caprio circa Titanic and the rest have very angular faces,but the close-ups play again and again like a bad nightmare.
3. The backstory is too vague to care about,the artsy style feels ersatz.
Like MGMT's vid for Electric Feel,its a good song with a mess of a video.This is a letdown for me at least,KOL's songs have a distinctive quality about them-serious,calm,its like..dark chocolate,something you enjoy with eyes closed-but a video like this would've been appropriate if it was the U2 era and the song was called "Baby come Back".
Still,good song and I have a feeling the new album's going to be better than the last (though that'd be a mean feat to manage).
Only by the Night out 22/9.
...
29.8.08
28.8.08
Beach
I ask J,an expert on Japanese culture and its many fascinating aspects,about a passage from Kafka on the Shore.It was about an odd phenomenon where the soul leaves the body,the fact that people found it puzzling and had no way to explain it-he mentions some obscure Japanese titles,translated in English which deals on the subject and goes on to add some random trivia about said soul leaving body issue.I point to the novel I'm reading and say,its research as I think I'm going through something similar and in all seriousness he offers to call his Japanese house mother for advice.
Mind cramped like twenty midgets fit into the tiniest car,then one of them dies and because noone bothers to help them the other 19 are forced to live with a corpse in confined space.Took a short break last night to go to the Beach House gig at The Toff/Curtin House,it was good and though live versions of "Gila","Wedding Bell" and "Heart of Chambers" sounded bare with only 3 instruments played,all realy bass-heavy the vocals were transcendent and no overzealous teens were spotted.In fact,the audience were mostly creatively dressed in vintage attire,while W and I stood minding our own business in stained skinny's and shirts with "funny" statements that looked lame in comparison.Good thing is that we don't have any gigs lined up for the rest of the year,and no recently announced gigs I'm too keen to follow-so I get to save money for the real good stuff,which'll hopefully pop up in a few months time.
Oh my.
...
Mind cramped like twenty midgets fit into the tiniest car,then one of them dies and because noone bothers to help them the other 19 are forced to live with a corpse in confined space.Took a short break last night to go to the Beach House gig at The Toff/Curtin House,it was good and though live versions of "Gila","Wedding Bell" and "Heart of Chambers" sounded bare with only 3 instruments played,all realy bass-heavy the vocals were transcendent and no overzealous teens were spotted.In fact,the audience were mostly creatively dressed in vintage attire,while W and I stood minding our own business in stained skinny's and shirts with "funny" statements that looked lame in comparison.Good thing is that we don't have any gigs lined up for the rest of the year,and no recently announced gigs I'm too keen to follow-so I get to save money for the real good stuff,which'll hopefully pop up in a few months time.
Oh my.
...
27.8.08
Either Way
Maybe the sun will shine today
The clouds will blow away
Maybe I won't feel so afraid
I will try to understand either way
Maybe you still love me maybe you don't
Either you will or you won't
Maybe you just need some time alone
I will try to understand
Everything has its plan
Either way I'm going to stay right for you
Wilco-Either way
...
The clouds will blow away
Maybe I won't feel so afraid
I will try to understand either way
Maybe you still love me maybe you don't
Either you will or you won't
Maybe you just need some time alone
I will try to understand
Everything has its plan
Either way I'm going to stay right for you
Wilco-Either way
...
25.8.08
Prosh
More at Fail Blog.
Prosh Week is on.This is the time when students,mostly Art majors-gather to walk around uni around self-made costumes,I wonder where they get the time/guts to do all that and what its all for.But its just that I haven't been on top of things lately,and there are times where I wish I could focus all my energy into excelling just one thing.I guess that's where my career comes in,or if I had a cat to take care of I'd spend most hours dwelling on which cat food to buy,whether a name change was really called for,if I should allow said cat to watch So you think you can Dance tonight and so on.I could spend so much time thinking of what to do,and not know at all.Which is maybe why I ought to make a costume myself,out of all the single,mismatched socks whose partners have disappeared.And take my carelessness to the march,be part of a parade that celebrates the joy of nothing,cheering to the tune of letting be.
+From OiNY
Tourist #1, pointing to an anti-war protest in Times Square: What's that?
Tourist #2: I think it's TRL.
...
24.8.08
Forever Ago
La Blogotheque
(Acoustic Lykke Li & Bon Iver)
I hate it when the latter plays "Wolves" live,and the crowd starts chanting "What might've been lost"repeatedly at the end as if its the only line they bloody hell know and for me it just ruins what would've been a perfect take.
We'll be alright,don't you worry.
...
(Acoustic Lykke Li & Bon Iver)
I hate it when the latter plays "Wolves" live,and the crowd starts chanting "What might've been lost"repeatedly at the end as if its the only line they bloody hell know and for me it just ruins what would've been a perfect take.
We'll be alright,don't you worry.
...
22.8.08
Forest
Two bands whose MySpace I have under favorites.
1. Now,now every children
2. Forest Fire
Sneaky sound system-Because you people think I'm crazy
Bon Iver-Blindsided
Bloc Party-signs
Beach House-wedding bell
Tonight is pizza with way too much cheese+shitty movie night.We've got a couple Domino's and the Gremlins and Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom (yeay,Harrison Ford making serious faces),all that's missing is a bottle of Solo and a timestopper.
...
1. Now,now every children
2. Forest Fire
Sneaky sound system-Because you people think I'm crazy
Bon Iver-Blindsided
Bloc Party-signs
Beach House-wedding bell
Tonight is pizza with way too much cheese+shitty movie night.We've got a couple Domino's and the Gremlins and Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom (yeay,Harrison Ford making serious faces),all that's missing is a bottle of Solo and a timestopper.
...
20.8.08
Movement
S rings me,says she's had a big fight and needs to talk.
Although she's deeply oblivious to everything most of the time,T's naturally a nice person who wouldn't hurt anyone and usually avoids confrontation like us normal folk avoid herpes.So when she says "big fight",I know it means what it means.
We order drinks,get around to talking and I tell her I can't take sides.We come up with two possible solutions,both subject to rules and Plan B's and we've agreed to accept that some things have changed (or that we can't expect some people to change),and we have to work our way around that.I think about the time I've spent here in Melbourne,and wonder in five years when I look back-which parts will seem significant.Whether I really seized the chance when I had it,or simply chose to steer on auto and graduate with a scroll,having made nothing of myself or done anything extraordinary.I think I'm waiting for something to bloom from the inside,a nice feeling that stays-I'm searching,I'll know what I want when I find it.
S asks why things keep fucking up,I nod and point to the nearby TV screen-1600m mens relay,they're still quite tied up which means the race has only started.We think about big things,and talk about the way things should be.There's always something wrong or needs fixing,the grass on the other side seems perpetually greener.I know what I know,the rest is just noise.
S calls up the other girl,says sorry.A white flag on tainted ground,a quiet cry for mercy.The other girl says sorry too,two minutes later they both hang up.An empty sheet,lines here and there make up for the space but the verse doesn't seem to come together."She wears her smile like gloves to a party" and "midnight clouds come and go",a story is missing.
+Its between Tropic Thunder or Baby Mama this weekend.If only the actors for the two got together for one big blockbuster,now that'd be convenient.
...
Although she's deeply oblivious to everything most of the time,T's naturally a nice person who wouldn't hurt anyone and usually avoids confrontation like us normal folk avoid herpes.So when she says "big fight",I know it means what it means.
We order drinks,get around to talking and I tell her I can't take sides.We come up with two possible solutions,both subject to rules and Plan B's and we've agreed to accept that some things have changed (or that we can't expect some people to change),and we have to work our way around that.I think about the time I've spent here in Melbourne,and wonder in five years when I look back-which parts will seem significant.Whether I really seized the chance when I had it,or simply chose to steer on auto and graduate with a scroll,having made nothing of myself or done anything extraordinary.I think I'm waiting for something to bloom from the inside,a nice feeling that stays-I'm searching,I'll know what I want when I find it.
S asks why things keep fucking up,I nod and point to the nearby TV screen-1600m mens relay,they're still quite tied up which means the race has only started.We think about big things,and talk about the way things should be.There's always something wrong or needs fixing,the grass on the other side seems perpetually greener.I know what I know,the rest is just noise.
S calls up the other girl,says sorry.A white flag on tainted ground,a quiet cry for mercy.The other girl says sorry too,two minutes later they both hang up.An empty sheet,lines here and there make up for the space but the verse doesn't seem to come together."She wears her smile like gloves to a party" and "midnight clouds come and go",a story is missing.
+Its between Tropic Thunder or Baby Mama this weekend.If only the actors for the two got together for one big blockbuster,now that'd be convenient.
...
19.8.08
Letter
Letterman,how you use to make my heart puke rainbows every time the old man hit 11.15.Now,you mumble things and I keep thinking "What else is on?".The guests you have are mostly faceless people whose lack of an interesting personality is amplified on TV,and I hardly laugh at your jokes anymore.The content is mostly boring filler stuff,and things seem stale,that could be because Channel 10 always shows eps that are bong years old (last week:"There's this new movie coming out-The..Dark Knight",these studio execs must take us for complete idiots).We must remember,this is the channel that still airs Everybody Loves Raymond (Debra must go down as one of history's least humorous TV wives),and punished us with the recent Big Brother season that was just so dull I get sleepy just thinking about it.I still like it that they take the effort to get the top indie bands to play on Letterman (tonight it was Black Kids),although the baby boomers in the audience clap in harmony and I feel weird for them.
+Trailer for Death Race,Jason Statham+Paul W.S. Anderson=I'll be one of the 3 to catch this the day it arrives here,the other 2 would be the perverted couple whose moaning noises I try to pretend are signs that they're enjoying the movie,albeit a bit too much.Joy is good,a double cheeseburger sounds just about perfect right now.This thrash show is on,a girl says after the opening credits: "I was spooned by a ghost",if the whole Kardashian family crashed this show and sat around doing nothing at all for a whole hour I'd be ecstatic.
...
+Trailer for Death Race,Jason Statham+Paul W.S. Anderson=I'll be one of the 3 to catch this the day it arrives here,the other 2 would be the perverted couple whose moaning noises I try to pretend are signs that they're enjoying the movie,albeit a bit too much.Joy is good,a double cheeseburger sounds just about perfect right now.This thrash show is on,a girl says after the opening credits: "I was spooned by a ghost",if the whole Kardashian family crashed this show and sat around doing nothing at all for a whole hour I'd be ecstatic.
...
18.8.08
Girl
1. I'm not a sentimental person,at least not anymore.Hah,you fell for that didn't you.Saw this girl in 7e today,the effect was like a small tornado-spun off my wobbling feet,for a split second it felt like falling.As if my body was abnormally tall and it swayed from the height and threatened to crash like a bundle of rocks onto the ground.There were 2 open counters,and while her friend took one she hovered in the gray so I moved forward and turned to ask if she was in the queue-she shook her head,eyes wide.Hair a natural black (it looked like lust,I wanted to reach out and grab it) and her skin a dark brown tan,I could here her voice as I took out change to pay-(probably referring to the nearby Men's Health magazine)-"He looks like a besar-ish Shia Le Beouf",and soon walked out as a cool,sweet scent of summer trailed behind.
And I followed her.
Then I saw A,at the tram stop waving with the edges of her red scarf swimming in the wind.We boarded the tram,sat and I peered out the dusty window to see the girl in her purple cardigan,her steps a bit awkward and her right arm looking tired from the laptop case in hand.Lovestruck?Of course not,my Backstreet Boys era is long over.I'm a teenager now,we're mature apparently.But something about her,she'll have me writing poems for days.
...
And I followed her.
Then I saw A,at the tram stop waving with the edges of her red scarf swimming in the wind.We boarded the tram,sat and I peered out the dusty window to see the girl in her purple cardigan,her steps a bit awkward and her right arm looking tired from the laptop case in hand.Lovestruck?Of course not,my Backstreet Boys era is long over.I'm a teenager now,we're mature apparently.But something about her,she'll have me writing poems for days.
...
17.8.08
Empty Room
Flames and smoke
Climbed out of every window
And disappeared
With everything that you held dear
But you shed not a single tear
For the things that you didn't need
Because you knew you were finally free
Death Cab for Cutie-Your heart is an empty room
...
New day incoming.
Climbed out of every window
And disappeared
With everything that you held dear
But you shed not a single tear
For the things that you didn't need
Because you knew you were finally free
Death Cab for Cutie-Your heart is an empty room
...
New day incoming.
15.8.08
Scores,Saturday
1. Sigur Ros-Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaust 3.5/5
First,I like the cover-it says something about youth in a tragic way.The album has prominent traces of Sufjan Stevens-there are few strong tunes (like the second track,also in Icelandic-I won't attempt to spell out here) but there's a lot of that modern,airy filler sound a la the type overused in the last two Coldplay albums,all that heavy layering just makes a song sound devoid of substance.But the musical arrangements are nothing short of creative,and the vocals reek of a despair and wanting I ache to comprehend.
2. Bon Iver-For Emma,Forever Ago 4.8/5
If you like Tracy Chapman,Radiohead,The Decemberists,TV on the Radio,The National,Fleet Foxes this might work for you and I love it for reminding what ballads can do.Working on a simple formula (a lot of acoustic guitar,calm and patient vocals-the both interact so well,each song is a different kind of meditation) they manage something that is equally heartbreaking as it is uplifting.
+Black Cab Sessions,where they've rounded up a lot of big indie names-each faced with the challenge of singing a song in a moving black cab.They're all good,but none can beat Lykke Li's acoustic take on "I'm Good,I'm Gone".
...
14.8.08
What Happened?
The Virgins debut album,or a safe sex ad with colorful floating condoms.Who can tell?
I can't decide whether I like it or not,yet but right now it sounds like overproduced white thrash but its approaching 2am and I'm not exactly at my best.They issued an EP not too long ago,had 4 of their songs featured on Gossip Girl (two of those songs turning out quite amazing-"One Week of Danger" & the sexed up "Rich Girls","Radio Christiane" is not bad).I still like this band (though not as much),but this album to put it bluntly-is just shit.
Original "One week of Danger":Raw and rough,with a simple guitar hook that mostly went on loop but was catchy and the boy-girl "conversation" within the song is pure brilliance.You can here it HERE.
New "One week of Danger"-TOTAL AND UTTER RUIN.Earthquakes,tsunamis,the world cuts in half and explodes.Look at that heinous album cover,that says it all.The vocals sound whiny,the guitar sounds harsh and they've somehow rid the song of ALL its original charm.
Yeap,looks like we can place this band under the Had it,Lost it pile,alongside The Kooks whose second record was so mediocre it must've taken them exactly 132 minutes to make,a day at most.A day with fifty lunch breaks,that is.
P.S.:MGMT pre-sale for their December gig opened today ($61 per ticket),I'm not as excited as I should be.Death Cab this weekend which I'm totally hyped for,but the real anticipation I have is for next week's Beach House gig.If I haven't said it before,Devotion (their second album) is a solid 4/5 effort and definitely worth the buy.
...
13.8.08
Never met a carrot I didn't Like
Watch
Watch
Watch
....
Eh,nothing much on these days.Except maybe that thing Letterman says is "to determine which country has the best pharmacists".
1. I can watch almost any other Olympic sport on TV except hockey.Bores me to bits,they should make this an after-midnight event and that hockey ball is so tiny it could simply be a gust of dust they're all chasing.
2. Am amazed by the sheer optimism of China's women volleyball team-rarely are people smiling like this.Even the coach smiles occasionally,while the Polish blonds look intense as murder but they pat each other's butts every few minutes so I guess they're sexy or something.
3. Not amused by channel 7's commentary on diving-its obvious to spot when a pair are out of sync,legs out of line or one a few moments quicker than the other or their splash extraordinarily enormous-despite these mistakes,compliments like "That was phenomenal" are handed out liberally to the Aussie team.
4. Its great to watch the gymnastics (on any given apparatus) for a long while you'll get all these so-so gymnasts who do their routine perfectly and receive a warm applause,then comes a Russian or whatnot whose routine is so exquisitely performed-its all so extremely sharp and precise,no trembles upon landing-that's when new standards come into play,and you know this is going to be one hell of a tough round for everyone.
5. Who else thinks Phelps is a freakin Martian?This dude is impossible,he's won what-9 golds?I only got to watch 3 of those wins,and on one of those he chose to hover between 3rd and 4th place for the first 150 meters,before launching into full energy in the final lap to beat the others by almost a whole body's length.And the feeling I get everytime he wins-elation,incredulity,wonder and all kinds of weird questions pop into my head.So to answer that,he might not be a Martian but he's sure not from this planet.
6. Every morning on The Morning Show-they show the Olympic results "adjusted for population" and so far,Australia's come out first next to South Korea.Then the camera pans to a whole audience dressed in jerseys and waving flags before the host passes the mic to one of them who inevitably says something like "I am so proud of how far we've come-more support for our national heroes".Sad/pathetic beyond words.
7. I KNEW that girl was lip-syncing in the opening ceremony,the others even said "Sure she is-China won't risk anything".This article says the original singer was replaced in the last minute because she wasn't pretty enough."'The reason was for the national interest. The child on camera should be flawless in image, internal feelings and expression. Lin Miaoke is excellent in those aspects. But in the aspect of voice, Yang Peiyi is flawless.''.Whatever you say,but to do this to a 9 year old just because she doesn't have straight teeth is just plain cruel.
Totally unrelated: This vid (which I also caught on last night's 6pm news-so its official,this is news) of a Burger King employee taking a bath in the kitchen sink is disgusting enough to keep me away from that shit for at least 6 months.I'm off to Tai-Box,the class teacher Filomena has bricks for abs.Fruggin Martians,they're everywhere.
Who else has a secret crush on Bush?Tee hee.
...
10.8.08
Pineapple Express-Low High
At the rate this is going,I might quit going to the cinemas altogether.Well,I had been looking forward to watch Pineapple Express for months-not only because it was penned by Superbad writers Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg,but also because one of my most trusted movie reviewing sites went as far to dub it "The best stoner flick-EVER".Ever is a a weighty word,and Superbad makes me laugh no matter how many times I've seen it.
Basically it all boils down to one thing:a damn lousy script.Its sloppy,uninspired and except for the few absurd moments that were actually funny though often disconnected with the bigger picture,so the script works at a standard low enough it wouldn't be odd to re-market it with Adam Sandler in the forefront.It proposes a story that is vacuous with air and much too familiar-right down to the unnecessary 'buddy' arguments that lead into clichéd ''You came back for me'' reunions,all executed with no real zing.Even the few aspiring action scenes (car chase,big showdown at the end involving dozens of guns and of course,a bomb) lack punch and play to music seemingly ripped from lame Tom Cruise blockbusters from the 90s.Aiming for a clever homage effect maybe,but the result is seedy and outdated.
As for the stars,the usually likable Seth Rogen brings to the floor the character he plays in every single movie (except that here he's excessively talkative here and almost unbearable) and James Franco is serviceable.Pineapple Express refuses to has its own voice or do anything remotely unique-I wouldn't say its an awful flick,it could qualify as a mediocre B-grade show fitting for a sleepy Sunday evening,to be played while you vacuum the room or lay final edits on an economics assignment.Even then,there'd be hundreds of better B-grade flicks to not pay attention to,so really we best ignore all the hype for this movie and wait for the Judd Apatow fanaticism to fade in a few years,with Pineapple Express being his second major miss (after Forgetting Sarah Marshall-the lesser said about that abominable mess,the better) I'm beginning to have second thoughts and will for now assume Knocked Up & Superbad were more so products of luck than actual talent.Woah,that was crazy harsh.I honestly don't mean that,I just feel really stupid for having paid $14.50 for this doozer.
...
7.8.08
5.8.08
B-sides #1
B-sides1. When elderly couples walk holding hands.
A collection of unused pictures lazily eating space on my hardrive,and for one reason or another I might not put on Deviantart,though I had fun taking t but am reluctant to delete.They're each technically spoiled in some obvious way-often case its overexposure,blurriness or something else.Mostly really random pics I took without bothering much about the settings.Nuff talk,lets get visual.
2. When men walk with young daughters carried on their shoulders.
3. Skies,I look up to them and everytime feel some sort of release.
For the insistent TS,shh this is between you & me.
...
4.8.08
Horses
Well if you find yourself falling apart
I'm sure I could steer
the great salt lake
...
Band of Horses tonight
I'm going to have a breakdown right there next to the stage
I'll wear a shiny brown wig
and a brand new wedding gown
and hide behind the crowd
where I'll be wailing out loud
like a gone old bride
who had her whole troop flee on her.
"They be hangin' me solo on the isle"
I'll tell the concerned young man
who'll buy me a couple drinks
before dumping me by the bar
where the quiet souls reside.
...
I have no idea where that came from,Ben Bridwell does strange things to people.
Lucky ones are we all til it is over
Everyone near and far
When you smile the sun it peaks through the clouds
Never die for always be around and around and around
...
I'm sure I could steer
the great salt lake
...
Band of Horses tonight
I'm going to have a breakdown right there next to the stage
I'll wear a shiny brown wig
and a brand new wedding gown
and hide behind the crowd
where I'll be wailing out loud
like a gone old bride
who had her whole troop flee on her.
"They be hangin' me solo on the isle"
I'll tell the concerned young man
who'll buy me a couple drinks
before dumping me by the bar
where the quiet souls reside.
...
I have no idea where that came from,Ben Bridwell does strange things to people.
Lucky ones are we all til it is over
Everyone near and far
When you smile the sun it peaks through the clouds
Never die for always be around and around and around
...
3.8.08
Ice
Tremendous weekend,body's aching all over and I've got a couple baby scars on my thighs and hands but its all good.First day snowboarding,which started off promising but I simply couldn't control the bloody board and in the spirit of reckless abandonment 3 of us went down one of the more difficult slopes,at 4pm when the blizzard was so violent you could hardly see anything and the snow was few meters deep so it was all mushy and if you fell it took a while to get back up.It was so draining that after the small post-dinner gathering I began to doze in and out of sleep at the couch,before finally heading off to bed at about midnight where I slumped my body face down only to wake up 8 hours later in the exact same position.
Second day,emergency switch to skiing.Easy to pick up,steering was a breeze but I couldn't brake so the first slope I tried involved plenty of falling down.At least I could turn,as to avoid plunging off an edge to forever be known as "That Asian who fell off a cliff".What a fucking cliche that would be.I stopped counting after the fifth time I tumbled like an idiot,though all of the falling was done on purpose (yes,true-ish) because I found it really hard to brake-I kept my skis in the triangle position,but the speed only grew more uncontrollable each time and once I fell on this really steep slope only to find my right leg snuggled up nicely near my right ear and my left ski detached and 50 meters behind.But at that point falling wasn't a big deal and we all had a whole lot of fun anyhu.And I got to help this kid who was clad in the whole skiing suit so he looked like an infant astronaut (astrotots?)-he fell,dropped one of his poles quite far behind him and was stranded right in the middle of the path repeatedly trying to climb to fetch his pole while avoiding the skiers who passed by like thunder-I stopped by the side (well,more like ski-ed up a tiny slope,crashed slowly and anti-climatically into a pile of snow),took off my gear and helped this kid fetch his pole-he said "Thank You" and I replied "Careful kid,you don't wanna get hurt"-Hah I've transformed from Asian dumbass to Chuck Norris!Plus,I think I lost at least 3 kgs-my thighs and tummy feel a bit toned,definitely a bit of new muscle on the arms (well,hellloooo there) and my bum looks less like a pair of deflated basketballs.That's about it really,one of the more personal trips I've been on-everyone got along really well (like "I'm Sal","I'm Lee"-"Hey,lets go on the chair lift up to Cloud 9 and make out like they do in the movies","Okay,but only to that first bit","Loves it"),and even those who returned with fractured ribs or popped shoulders came back smiling through their exhaustion.*
*Apparently there's this winter weed medicine thing they give you if you're sick,but I'm sure some part of that happiness was natural.
Lastly,Sunday Night Viewing.Thank God You're Here showcases some of the more talented local comedians-face it,Aussie comedians aren't the funniest of the bunch and highlights of the Annual Melbourne Comedy Fest are always foreigners-which is why this show is such a fantastic idea,you've just got to see it.Its pure entertainment for 30 minutes,and though sometimes they get a few rotten comedians (like that Vietnamese guy,whose pitch is to basically play a guy who speaks in the Vietnamese slang-what a lazy,brainless douche-if I see him on the street I'm going to start a riot and get people to throw sharp objects at him) overall its an excellent show.The only sad part is its followed by Rove.Here's my deal with Rove.One or two years ago I happened to catch an episode where he had Toni Collette as a guest-and he pressed this one crap joke for about 50 times,repeated it before and after the commercials to the point where I could feel my brain vibrating at the sheer humorlessness of Rove.I won't tell you what the joke was,cos' you could go youtube-ing it and then be traumatized for life then I'd really hate myself for it.Anyhu,from then onwards I swore to never again torture myself by watching this shitty show,but today decided to give it a second go.And wadya know,he's still unfunny-excitable as hell,says his "jokes" in a manner that is obviously scripted and is graced with an audience who obviously laugh on cue.Or they could be robots.If this was America,viewers/the network wouldn't be nearly as merciful and this show would've been axed ages ago.
We'll close with the trailer for the upcoming Michael Cera flick (link here),oh no he's in another cute indie flick playing a nervous,twitchy teen who's awkward with girls.I really hope he doesn't get typecast into that role,because the guy can do so,so,so much more and he needs to stop accepting these boring scripts,write one for his own and get it produced.For the time being,we all need to go catch this movie and support his career,because you need money to make money.I'm sure that made cents.Hah I made a punny,yeay me.
Second day,emergency switch to skiing.Easy to pick up,steering was a breeze but I couldn't brake so the first slope I tried involved plenty of falling down.At least I could turn,as to avoid plunging off an edge to forever be known as "That Asian who fell off a cliff".What a fucking cliche that would be.I stopped counting after the fifth time I tumbled like an idiot,though all of the falling was done on purpose (yes,true-ish) because I found it really hard to brake-I kept my skis in the triangle position,but the speed only grew more uncontrollable each time and once I fell on this really steep slope only to find my right leg snuggled up nicely near my right ear and my left ski detached and 50 meters behind.But at that point falling wasn't a big deal and we all had a whole lot of fun anyhu.And I got to help this kid who was clad in the whole skiing suit so he looked like an infant astronaut (astrotots?)-he fell,dropped one of his poles quite far behind him and was stranded right in the middle of the path repeatedly trying to climb to fetch his pole while avoiding the skiers who passed by like thunder-I stopped by the side (well,more like ski-ed up a tiny slope,crashed slowly and anti-climatically into a pile of snow),took off my gear and helped this kid fetch his pole-he said "Thank You" and I replied "Careful kid,you don't wanna get hurt"-Hah I've transformed from Asian dumbass to Chuck Norris!Plus,I think I lost at least 3 kgs-my thighs and tummy feel a bit toned,definitely a bit of new muscle on the arms (well,hellloooo there) and my bum looks less like a pair of deflated basketballs.That's about it really,one of the more personal trips I've been on-everyone got along really well (like "I'm Sal","I'm Lee"-"Hey,lets go on the chair lift up to Cloud 9 and make out like they do in the movies","Okay,but only to that first bit","Loves it"),and even those who returned with fractured ribs or popped shoulders came back smiling through their exhaustion.*
*Apparently there's this winter weed medicine thing they give you if you're sick,but I'm sure some part of that happiness was natural.
Lastly,Sunday Night Viewing.Thank God You're Here showcases some of the more talented local comedians-face it,Aussie comedians aren't the funniest of the bunch and highlights of the Annual Melbourne Comedy Fest are always foreigners-which is why this show is such a fantastic idea,you've just got to see it.Its pure entertainment for 30 minutes,and though sometimes they get a few rotten comedians (like that Vietnamese guy,whose pitch is to basically play a guy who speaks in the Vietnamese slang-what a lazy,brainless douche-if I see him on the street I'm going to start a riot and get people to throw sharp objects at him) overall its an excellent show.The only sad part is its followed by Rove.Here's my deal with Rove.One or two years ago I happened to catch an episode where he had Toni Collette as a guest-and he pressed this one crap joke for about 50 times,repeated it before and after the commercials to the point where I could feel my brain vibrating at the sheer humorlessness of Rove.I won't tell you what the joke was,cos' you could go youtube-ing it and then be traumatized for life then I'd really hate myself for it.Anyhu,from then onwards I swore to never again torture myself by watching this shitty show,but today decided to give it a second go.And wadya know,he's still unfunny-excitable as hell,says his "jokes" in a manner that is obviously scripted and is graced with an audience who obviously laugh on cue.Or they could be robots.If this was America,viewers/the network wouldn't be nearly as merciful and this show would've been axed ages ago.
We'll close with the trailer for the upcoming Michael Cera flick (link here),oh no he's in another cute indie flick playing a nervous,twitchy teen who's awkward with girls.I really hope he doesn't get typecast into that role,because the guy can do so,so,so much more and he needs to stop accepting these boring scripts,write one for his own and get it produced.For the time being,we all need to go catch this movie and support his career,because you need money to make money.I'm sure that made cents.Hah I made a punny,yeay me.
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