Tina & Amy 2 : *Blink Blink*

This clip is 20 kinds of genius.

I've reserved a special place for Tina Fey in my mental temple of shrines,next to Anna Faris'-saw House Bunny over the weekend,it was pure bimbotic fluff but also wildly entertaining and I'm afraid if I start going on about how much I love and adore Anna Faris I won't stop.And you'll have to send me to an asylum,where they serve cold noodles and have smug,young,"I'm so-put-together" doctors facilitate group therapy.In other news,I've hardly thought about assignments but the good part is that I'm 3-quarters done with this five-grid sudoku puzzle I've been working really hard on.

(clip via Gawker)

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Weekend Playlist

Oasis-Bag it up
Ladyhawke-My delirium
Smashing pumpkins-drown

Also,Stereogum has this not-awful/sorta-brilliant new song by Ray Lamontagne called 'Meg White' (after the reclusive White Stripes drummer).Proves with a good voice,you could sing about almost anything.

That is all.

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Wall-e : Sugary Fantasy

On the surface,Wall-E has the whole package: the central duo are quite likable,the running plot is clever and mostly well-thought out,with only a small dose of slapstick (mostly limited to the first 30 minutes) and a powerful message about preserving mother earth/being yourself that is delivered through the story,not placed front and center like a trite election-season ad that barks at you condescendingly.The overall product,however-is unremarkable-and I can point out where exactly it just didn't bode well for me.

I didn't like the way they insisted on portraying robots to behave so much like humans.Not that I expect a bunch of unemotional,beeping metal cans who take orders and wheel around (plus to suggest that robots have their "own" way of behaving,well that's just ridiculous)-but the whole thing about robots wanting to hold hands,"kiss" and find romance showed a sever lack of imagination on the writers part.Likewise,showing rats in Rataouille to be drinking in bar-type establishments and cooking in kitchens was to me eluding the true,fascinating nature of animals and settling instead on something more palatable and family-friendly.It all spells Fuckin' Disney Miley Cyrus Mass Audience Bullshit to me,a zero score on the 'wow' scale.

What more,the so-called villain (the ship's 'controlling system') is instantly defeated with a push of a button-next to the amount of attention paid to detail,this is one out of many major oversights that conveniently bring the movie to a fairy-tale happy ending,one so cutesy and artificial its too much even for a cartoon.

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Poster Chronicles:Quantum of Solace

1. Newly released/Final poster for the 22nd Bond movie,out November.Both look like they're trying really hard to not fart,and its a little to America's Next Top Model.The middle part of the foreground is experiencing a chronic white-out,but the trail of smoke,empty desert landscape and having the characters walk away from the scene makes an intriguing story.

2. Second teaser poster,released in July.I love the sepia tones,but again its too self-concious about being stylish what with the perfect tie Mr Man-Pout looks fresh off a dinner party.But I'm a sucker for big guns,and this one's a winner.

3. By far,my favorite of the 3,first teaser poster released sometime in February.The top part looks blinding,this must've been a picture taken from somewhere (I saw the original printed poster at Hoyts recently,it looks amazing).I really admire the simplicity of it,light and shadows-but the fact that its still quite extravagant and dramatic-the gun pointed upwards,the overstretched silhouette,even the cracks on the ground and clear grey sky foreshadow some great confrontation.

Now that you see it,the 3 posters-in order-do tell some kind of vague story,he starts off smart and equipped-escapes the warehouse,but loses his tie and big-ass gun in the process but gains a female sidekick.Now all we've got to figure out is what the hell Quantum of Solace means (the real mystery etc).

Via FirstShowing

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Kim Kardashian on Dancing with the "stars"

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0:54 Kim answers door shouting "I knew it was you!".
1:18 Kim goes "Why am I so unbalanced?"
1:48 Kim spins and knocks herself against a table.
2:07 Three of the Kardashian clan,including Silent Bruce is applauding for Kim.
3:49 A man actually name Bruno describes Kim as having "a dusky beauty'' and likens her to Princess Jasmine from Aladdin,Kim turns to her partner with a Katie Holmes "get me outta here!" face.
4:00 Bruno says Kim should "make her beauty more available".
4:20 Judge 3 says "You're not used to moving your head,so your head has a tendency to stay very still",camera points to Kim who looks hungry and is nodding and nodding.
5:48 Kim speaks more than 4 words,everyone in room pretends to pay attention.
5:51 Dude wearing a flamingo pink suit-"I'm having a great time..we've become really good friends...".
6:08 British prude judge absolutely refuses to shut up.

Kim Kardashian=comedy butt-pad wearing goddess.

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I always knew Audrina was evil

Team Speidi forever.

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April

Nothing new.

1. Watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off,better than expected and I've got Singles on tv while I attempt to multi-task and I kind of dig the way the film just completely rambles like someone's whose talking and you sort of lose interest once in a while but you're able to absorb the essence of what's said.

2. Emmys (full results here)-I think Mad Men is just okay and while I'm happy that 30 Rock won a couple major awards,the last season was inconsistent and the plot was way too loose.I'm totally esctatic for Bryan Cranston (the guy who played Malcolm's dad on Malcolm in the Middle) who won best Actor in a drama series for Breaking Bad-a little talked about series that was temporarily halted by the strike earlier in the year,but its really a series I strongly recommend watching.Its unsurprising that Lost got zero nominations this year-it was tighter and it recovered from an extremely slow and frustrating 4th season,but all that build-up felt wasted on the two-hour season finale after which I'm sure everyone just went HUH?On the other hand,Big Love went MIA.

3.
The album cover for Sun Kil Moon's April.
4 tracks streaming on their MySpace.
Its the kind of music I stay up late to listen to,meant for long train rides and stormy afternoons.

4. Big Day Out '09 in Melbourne headlined by.....Neil Young?FTW.


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Day Off

k l i k.

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Synedoche,New York

My first thought,after staring long enough at the poster and watching the trailer-is that its too perplexing,and it looks like one of those films heavy with representations through images/songs with very little to say.And that the back of Philip Seymour Hoffman's head is also questionable.That said,I share a strong devotion for Charlie Kaufman's previous work-he wrote Being John Malkovich,Adaptation and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind-Synedoche,New York will be his directional debut,as of yet it doesn't have a release date for Australia.

Synecdoche, New York stars Philip Seymour Hoffman as a theater director named Caden Cotard, whose life in Schenectady, New York is looking bleak. His wife Adele has left him to pursue her painting in Berlin, taking their young daughter Olive with her. A new relationship with the alluringly candid Hazel has prematurely run aground. And a mysterious condition is systematically shutting down each of his body’s autonomic functions. Worried about the transience of his life, he moves his theater company to a warehouse in New York City. He directs them in a celebration of the mundane, instructing each to live out their constructed lives in a growing mockup of the city outside.

Watch the trailer here.

(Via FirstShowing)

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Only By the Night

The songs have been crafted to be more radio-friendly for our benefit apparently,because the sad news is that Only by the Night is lacking the intimacy and depth of the last Kings of Leon album,Because of the Times.

Now in place are tunes like 'Use Somebody',a song that would alienate some of the band's longtime fans.It takes off with a mishy guitar riff that is paired with uncharacteristic mechanical noises,and plays out like the perfect by-numbers pop ballad that even includes an Aerosmith-like guitar climax and background vocals that go "Aaah".

The difference is obvious.In the last album,the guitars played out slow/steady and the overall effect was haunting and powerful,whereas here the mood is carefree and the pace more immediate,lyrics romantic and simple ("given the chance,I'm gonna be somebody","I want you,exactly like I used to").This is an effort to sound more catchy,write lyrics people could actually sing to and promote a younger/trendier/more consumable image for themselves.

I like 'Sex on Fire' and 'Revelry',and on the first track 'Closer' the band hints at a higher potential-but the song is instantly failed by a frustration of beeping sounds,and guitars that feel untied from the rest of the song.'Crawl' could be the band's worst track to date.

With the exception of Caleb's familiar voice,the songs feel trivialized by a crippling sense of unoriginality-often replicative of Snow Patrol,Muse or My Morning Jacket.Its not a bad record,but devoid of anything outstanding or truly worth the time.As a whole:it speaks greatly of a loss of personality and the (misguided) undertaking of a whole new direction,but it kindly serves to accentuate the quality of their last credible record.

6.5/10

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Words that diminish us like Pretty

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1. Tina Fey & Amy Poehler team up for last night's SNL season-opener,playing Palin and Clinton.
2. Story: I saw this cool "its playtime" ad on TV for the Canon EOS 450d (which has an impressive live-view function,and a humungous screen),thought I'd find the ad online and post it here.I found it sure,turns out its an old ad for the 350d that has been around since 2006.While I still respect Canon for continuing to bring out the good stuff,recycling ads is just shameful and frankly a bit insulting.

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So High

Van She at Prince Bandroom last night.
It was amazing,will talk more about that later.
Its the weekend,and 22c outside-a day for shorts,flip flops and some photography.
We part ways (for now),here's the vid for the track So High.



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1. Opening act Lost Valentinos was entertaining.
2. The sound engineer (the guy next to the stage with headphones,pressing buttons) did some major miscalculations.The whole time Van She was on,the vocals were COMPLETELY drowned out.
3. Despite that,the band can be trusted to deliver-it was a lively crowd,I think I convulsed a little from the excitement of hearing Memory Man & Cat in the Eye.
4. The best thing was they played every track from their recent debut-even Virgin Suicide,closing with their two strongest tracks: Kelly & So High.
5. I've never been a fan of the local scene-it always seems like they're trying to hard,with the desperate gimmickry of The Presets and Cut Copy,whose music I find grating-but I believe Van She and Sam Sparrow (both Sydney-based,they must be doing something right there) can do really well internationally if their albums are marketed well.

That's it-one last time:get the Van She album,I can personally guarantee you'll be highly satisfied.

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Whats your name deliket

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Weather man has creepy stalker

Who knows why I find this so funny,the weather man must've been terrified.

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Semester

Its noon on Monday,and the upstairs neighbors are at it.

They're usually active around 3am,when I hear the odd thumping sound in between 5-10 minute intervals.I imagine they both invest more time in foreplay,skimping through penetration half-asleep.The noises don't bother me much,but I'm sure this lust-stricken honeymoon period won't last long.Soon they'll return to their normal sexual pace,but if these wild bunnies breed I'll climb the side of the building like Godzilla with baseball bat in hand and snatch these infants from their cradle,or at least tape their mouths.

Anyway.

Had the business finance (not as bad as it sounds) mid sem this morning,and I think I did pretty well after having my expectations re-adjusted to reality before walking into the exam hall.I think I baintaied about 3/13 questions (which,in retrospect-sounds foolish) but for the others I managed the figures calmly,and am confident I can achieve a decent mark.After,I bumped into a buss finance classmate and one-time lover (if I were a character in a sitcom called "Saucy Diaries of a secret Man-slut")-who informed me that he had dropped the subject two weeks ago.

Because he lost his passport.

And when he said this,I swear it was like being hit in the torso with a stick.I've heard numerous horror stories about people losing their passports,and fellow former classmate A says he lost his to the Australian Post in an attempt to mail said missing item to the US embassy.Apparently getting a new passport takes 6 months,but the application process is in itself a plot for an Excorcist sequel (this time the villian,unveiled in the end to the shock and dismay of audiences worldwide-a lost passport!).He's had to inform a dozen authorities,and overwhelmed by grief and sympathy I didn't really hear what the poor bloke was saying but it was something along the lines of "All the things that I've done here are now-erased",a code or gibberish.

So the lives of you and I,my dear reader-seem not too shabby,put in perspective.We had this thing last Sunday,Fiesta Malaysia-the very definition of mental exhaustion for some of us-I observed two people,who were lacking in some way.The first was a man who visited one of our booths and I happened to be there-all his front teeth were gone but a mischievious grin perservered,his words were slurred and though I was trying my best to be nice I guess the judgement showed on my face-he took my hand into his (covered in ratty,fingerless gloves),and said "Don't judge,have a nice day".The second was during a performance on stage,in the audience I spotted a different-looking teenage girl who swayed her body left and right,stiff fingers open in the air and again-that smile on her face,an object that appeared to be impervious.

So there you have it,a bundle of words sewn carelessly into sentences.



I dig the 6-0s pornstache.

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Breakie

Don't just stand on your podium and point fingers
youth shouldn't be a passport to sit back,watch and whine
we need to do something

READ

"Be the change you want to see in the world"

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Rising

"Now comes the mystery"
last words of Henry Ward Beecher.

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Van She

Talk about Van She.

1. Unless someone tells me a touching story behind the band's name,I'm gonna go ahead and say its stupid.
2. They're based in Sydney,and are one of the special few local bands who miraculously don't suck.In fact,they're pretty good-you can hear their stuff here on their Myspace,or pick up your copy of their debut album V,which I'd put as a truly commendable 8.5/10 effort.
3. V was recorded with British producer Jim Abbiss,who's most renown for the debut records by Arctic Monkeys & Adele.
4. If you click on the above poster,you can see that they're barely taking breaks and playing almost every night.I highly applaud their hardwork,but if they come drunk/exhausted for their gig next Friday (info here) someone's head and the back of a beer bottle will inevitably collide.
5. The drummer's named Tomek,and the band's classified under shoegaze,electropop and psychedelic.

We close with the vid for Cat & The eye.



I don't really get the video,but how adorable is that rock with eyes?But the track (ignoring the persistent wooshing sounds in the background) is in itself a small form of evolution for the country of Ohstralia.

Kelly was a young girl, looking in the mirror, doing what young kids do

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Potter Bash

1. Someone went crazy airbrushing his face-it looks unrealistically smooth,and the 'manly' facial hair seems digitally implanted (notice how the bottom half of his neck looks absolutely clean).
2. I really like the shirt,tie colors although the open collar looks a bit 6pm.
3. The headlines on this cover are so poorly thought out.FAIL.

+Ting Tings secret gig location FINALLY revealed.
+Jessica Walters stars in 90210,is there somewhere I can tune in to watch her parts alone?
+Jen Aniston & Oprah cast for the next 30 Rock season,curious.
+VID of a drunk Lily Allen having a ball saying "Fuck off,Elton" repeatedly-whatever,its the alcohol talking.

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Kids

Our shoulders brush from behind,I sense something that is inwardly familiar.

I turn around casually,feeling nervous for some reason until I see you and our faces are close to touch.He stumbles back awkwardly,I quickly break the ice with some vapid comment about his belt of all things.Years apart,friends caught by chance-we were so close at one point in time,for a brief period of no more than three months after which our relationship faded into everything else,lost its appeal and both of us begun to drift to our own silent corners,waiting for the next new thing to come along.

Its a pity to lose something that meant so much,but things change and you can't hope to stay the same person.Triggers pulled back,shots fired-the fastness of everything is something I didn't see until it had all passed,not all the things we lost to speed were worth fighting back for.

That feeling as growing teens-that freedom we felt from our naivety,that monstrous curiosity for the things they forbid us from-all the charm and wickedness of who we were.Could we break control once again and assume the identities of anyone we desired-to shed the skins we carried,leave our fate to the wilderness to decide?

So we exchanged numbers,promised to meet up someday.I'm sure sooner or later,I'd be bored enough to call for it-and we'll spend some time catching up talking about things neither of us felt were interesting.To have this distance,this great,unbreakable barrier time had built for us (for our own good,we'd think) was another phase of life,we'd get past this on our own and leave the memories to their quiet graves.

I think: I'll be someone else in a few years,and all of which I have now-most of it would've been tossed aside,I eventually become a foreigner to every place I visit and a stranger to the people I meet.And some tiny part of it feels like an adventure,for every once in a while I feel a small bit of the freedom we once had-like all the changes,they're all returning me to a good spot.A homecoming of sorts,two men cheering at the sky-beckoning the new year to come,take them back to somewhere full of hope.

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Fruit Machine

1. Bon Iver on Skinny Love.He sings the first part of the chorus in a tone that a father might take to scold an arrogant daughter ("I told you to be patient,I told you to be kind-now all your love is wasted") but later pulls it down to a gentle,benign coaxing when he says "C'mon skinny love".

2. Suicides by a group of people (a 16 year old girl included) in Hong Kong,and an Australian tv actor in the past week.If I had the chance to speak to any of them before they went,I'd tell them to hang on for just one more day-it could make all the difference.

3. Ramadhan,like detox but better because it cleanses your body,spirit and means you can spend lunchtime money buying all sorts of materialistic crap.Spring's arriving soon (if it isn't here already-with the exception of Sunday,the past few days have been quite sunny),time to rid yourself of those unattractive,thick trucker jackets and get some vitamin D.

4. From the official Ting Tings website:

The Ting Tings are down to play a super-secret MySpace Show next Friday, September 5 somewhere in Melbourne!! This will be their ONLY Melbourne show where you can see 'em so add them as your MySpace friend NOW to get details of the location and make sure to get there early! First in, first served. For some good gig prep, grab their new single 'That's Not My Name' in stores this Saturday!

How dare they-come all the way to Melbourne,and do a "super-secret MySpace show"?I guess this way only harcore fans would bother,and it'd be free.I'm signing up on MySpace this very moment (I won't be using it at all,so I guess a nickname like magicstick123 or babycustardpie will do),sending my minions to gather for facts about this.If you or any family members know anything,please call our info hotline 1300-slut-bunnies,you will be compensated with a lifetime (in technical terms: 2 weeks) of love and kindness.The great mousehunt begins.

ka-ching ka-ching boy

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